TNN-Tryker News Network: Episode [Five] now posted

[aldrikoy]

"The Metamorphosis," by Kafka. =)

And my "liberal arts education" is shamed. Ah well, it was really a sciences education with enough minimums for a BA anyway, LOL. Been a bit too long.
Awaiting the next news report with delicious anticipation. Time to go practice dying again.

[blaze109]

Jenuviel,

I'm going to take the time to say something that's pretty obvious but still needs saying:

You are an incredibly creative, brilliant, and entertaining writer!!!

Keep up the good work!!!

Blazeryth

[loyats]

Once again a pleasure to read.

[spaero]

Keep writing, Jenuviel. I love your stories better than what's left of the game

[pcheez]

Read the stories 4 times over, funnier everytime
Brilliant, you are.

[andrecyr]

Throwing an apple at it. Pokemon Snap? (Hold on to those Pester balls!)

[andreaw]

Oh this is hillarious! Do you write for a living?

[jenuviel]

Oh this is hillarious! Do you write for a living?

Oh, heck no. I'm an admissions clerk in an emergency room. I did have an English minor in college, but that's about it.

[jenuviel]

Okay, so I lied. I'm going to write another article today after all.

Episode Five: What Happens in Atys, Stays in Atys (If You Can Get There/Out)

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is Li'po Chao for the Tryker News Network. I'll be standing in for Be'lauppee Corath this evening while she finishes her well-deserved vacation in the Fyros desert. Tonight we have a very special interview with Nereni Phun, a Zorai councilwoman and president of the World Tourism Federation. We'll be speaking with her regarding her agency's "Meet the Atysian Natives" festival, which began today. Without further ado, let's go to Maddaz Elle out at the W.T.F.-M.A.N. headquarters in Pyr for the story."

[A logo reading "Festival for the Future" scrolls across the screen, accompanied by an upbeat theme]

Maddaz: "I'm standing here in Pyr at the "Zorai Dim Sum Delights" restaurant, which also doubles as the headquarters for the World Tourism Federation. I'm with Nereni Phun, the president and chairperson of the aforementioned agency to speak with her about the launch of her group's festival."

Maddaz: "Mrs. Phun, I understand your organization has spent quite a large amount of money on advertising this festival. How did you go about getting the funds, and what are you hoping they'll accomplish?"

Nereni: "First of all, Maddaz, I no marry. I no misses Phun, I miss Phun."

Maddaz: "Yes, we all do. About those funds, however..?"

Nereni: "Of course. Most funds come from charity. We want to make easier for people to donate, though, so we no ask them for money; we just work with material vendor and they raise price then give us extra cash. In exchange, we supply on-flight magazine to those who come to festival and send them to these vendor. This way, business as usual for Atys resident, but they still get joy from donate, local business get free advertise, and W.T.F.-M.A.N. get money for publicize."

Maddaz: "That's very clever, Miss Phun. If you're not giving the citizens a choice, however, can it still be considered donation?"

Nereni: "Of course! We get tax exemption for taking money, so it must be donation! If it not donation, we not get tax break. You see?"

Maddaz: "Uh huh, right. Anyway, what were you hoping this advertising budget would accomplish?"

Nereni: "Well, we want get new people to Atys. It small colony, and it need new blood. We hope that when tourist see pretty land and rich culture, they decide to stay and spend money on pickaxe and autolauncher. If they stay, colony thrive, business thrive, property value rise, and land purchased by W.T.F will triple annual income for W.T.F. board member."

Maddaz: "I'm sorry, did you just say you were hoping to increase toursim in order to raise the property value of your own agency's land holdings?"

Nereni: "No, I no say that."

Maddaz: "Yes you did. I just heard you. In fact, this whole conversation is being recorded. [to someone off-screen, "Veedio, play that last section back."]

[From off-screen: "If they stay, colony thrive, business thrive, property value rise, and the land purchased by W.T.F will triple annual income for W.T.F. board member."]

Nereni: "That not me."

Maddaz: "What do you mean that's not you?! I just recorded that ten seconds ago! That was your voice!"

Nereni: "That sound nothing like me. You crazy tabloid journalism. Here, you take cookie and go."

Maddaz: "But-..."

Nereni: "So long. I see you." [Miss Phun quickly stands and disappears into a backroom of the restaurant]

[Maddaz cracks open his Zorai destiny cookie and pulls a small curl of paper from it. "You like Zorai food."]

Maddaz: "Well, Li'po, back to you in the studio."

Li'po: "A tasty interview, Maddaz. Bring me back some yubo-drop soup, if you'd be so kind." [turns to face a different camera] "We turn now to our senior transportation correspondent, Brayk Su'rvur, who's standing by at the Yrkanis Global Spaceport with a recent development. Brayk?"

Brayk: "Good evening, Li'po. I'm here at the Yrkanis Global Spaceport where there have been a number of problems with incoming flights. With me is the man in charge, Wing Noh-Flai. Wing, what's the current situation here?"

Wing: "Well, Brayk, we've had a number of issues arise that have prevented several of our shuttles from landing. Some flights have been delayed or cancelled as a result."

Brayk: "Has the increased traffic caused by the W.T.F.'s festival had anything to do with it? Initial surveys indicated a massive influx of visitors."

Wing: "No, fortunately the incoming flights are relatively limited. Part of the difficulty is that we've been closing the spaceport every once in awhile so our overworked employees can get a drink at the spaceport bar. The problem we prefer to focus on, however, is that we've had an inordinant number of outbound flights on the board, and those flights are taking up airspace normally used for inbound traffic. "

Brayk: "I see. Have your people gotten any kind of a feel for what might be causing this exodus?"

Wing: "Well, we're not experts on the subject, but it has been the topic of conversation around the watercooler. Some of our people have attributed it to the two environmental quagmires that have formed in the moister regions of the Matis and Zorai territories. Others have suggested that a wave of wanderlust has swept across the Tryker Lakelands, leading them to explore the outer regions of space."

Brayk: "And what's your opinion on the subject, mister Wing?"

Wing: "I think it's the rumors of kitin invasions and the increased danger of wildlife in general, personally; inevitable death tends to make people antsy. I was speaking with a friend of mine over at the World Organization of Regional and Territorial Housing (Lower Economic Social Strata division), and he said that the number of vacancies opening up in apartments was alarming. Apparently most former residents were citing those invasion rumors and the skyrocketing cost of burial insurance as their cause for leaving."

Brayk: "Really? That's the first I've heard of it. Is the L.E.S.S. division doing anything to reassure tenants that apartments are every bit as safe as standardized housing?"

Wing: "Well, my friend said that they were changing the name from "apartment" to "ultra-safe modular bunker" and including a week's supply of dehydrated legumes, a shortwave radio, and a jumpsuit made out of silver lycra in the rental fee, but he didn't sound too optimistic."

Brayk: "I see. I thank you for your time, mister Wing." [turns to face the camera] "Let's go now to Tyre Doffit, who's with departures and arrivals just outside the spaceport."

Tyre: "...-do you mean I can't park here?! I'm a journalist! I don't care what color that strip is, my camera man needs to get an establishing shot! You can take that badge and shove it up your-..Oh..uhh..hi.."

[Tyre coughs and adjusts his tie, composing himself for the camera]

Tyre: "Thank you, Brayk. I've been standing out here most of the day speaking to people about their travel experiences in these turbulent times. Here's what they had to say."

[vertical fade]

Incoming #1: "I can't believe they lost my luggage. That pickaxe belonged to my grandmother. They did replace it very quickly after I filled out the form, but I'm still waiting for my toothbrush."

Incoming #2: "Yeah, the captain said that it was normal for the spacecraft to circle the station for three hours in order to allow the passengers an opportunity to get aerial photographs, but I wasn't buying it."

Incoming #3: "The spaceport security is a lot lighter than I expected it to be. The second I got off the ship, the gate attendent handed me a sword and fifty dime-baggies of Fyros prime zabloot. What? Generic crafting materials? I guess that'd explain the taste..."

Incoming #1: "Well, they managed to track down my toothbrush, but now my magic amplifier has been switched with a one-fingered mitten. Mittens aren't supposed to have fingers at all, are they?"

Outgoing #1: "Uhh, could you take that camera off me?" [the Tryker woman giggles nervously][Tyre's voice from off-camera: "Be'lauppee, is that you? I thought you were vactioning in the desert?"]

Outgoing #2: "I'm leaving because deep down inside I've always known I was an orc trapped in a Matis body. I've heard there's an operation they can perform on the planet of Azeroth."

Incoming #2: "Cn I have ur stuff?"
Tyre: "Reporting from Yrkanis, I'm Tyre Doffit."

Li'po: "And for the Tryker News Network, I'm Li'po Chao. Good night, and may the good news be yours."


[Edited a bit for polish]

[evalisa]

Hehe very good