House Etchmarc's Hall Office, Yrkanis, Majestic Garden of Verdant Heights
Where to start.
Zyquo and I are more at ease now than we have been since his attempted trip to his homeland. Slowly, unless he's deceiving me, it seems the burdens are either lifting from his shoulders, or settling to their places. There is nothing quite as uncomfortable as an ill-placed burden. Suryi has been spending a lot of time with him, trying to keep his spirits up. I'm afraid I'm just no good at that.
"You are a shadow of the woman I met on Silan."
Yes, and I do feel like a shadow of a homin. Enon wondered what happened to the socialite I used to be on Silan. It was easier then. Homins flowed in and out of the camp. There were no attachments beyond honest well wishes, and memories to be cherished. The ebb and flow of an unsettled place. I felt important there. People needed me there. It didn't matter if they cared for or loved me. It mattered that they needed me.
I don't feel needed here. Yes, I do help where I can, but it's different. I thought I was over this. In fact, I'm not sure why or how this is even heavily on my mind, considering that just last night I helped to negotiate peace between Haldir and Zyquo, averting a battle over the Order's outpost! I'd be quick to praise anyone else for accomplishing such a thing, so why can't I be pleased with myself?
Enon is waiting for something to go wrong. I cannot truly blame him, but still, I miss him. I miss him as much as he wonders where I have gone. We have not harvested together since before the Order splintered. It's been nearly three seasons. If not longer. I know he's busy. I don't fault him. That doesn't make it easier.
Kas made a sound point. Enon loves me, he cares for me, shelters me, provides me with anything I ask, and has put Kas at my service to help me in any way he can - It seems we both keep trying to give each other things to make up for the absence of our selves.
Enon tries, now, to provide me with other company, since he's been consumed with dealings for the House. Will things ever be the way they were? I don't think they will, but I hope.
He joked - he's always making jokes now - that he needed to find more trustworthy males for the House so I had someone to spend my time with, as I did not seem to spend any time with the females. This much is true. Kae, Vae, Aiwe, Ela... they are all dear to my heart. Even Suryi, though a part of me still sits uncomfortably with the conversation we had on men and secrets at Paramount Stock. We are from different worlds of the heart, she and I. I am fond of every member of the Order. That doesn't mean I always want their company. I have offered here and there to assist, especially the younger ones. So far they seem to have more beneficial arrangements with the others.
I am content to be on my own, and simply share the Seed link with them. I do not know what I would do without them.
Perhaps it stems back further than all of this. The only female I knew at all growing up was Ema, and we certainly don't get along. My mother seemed to hate me, where my father was the opposite. My father loved me and I felt best in his presence. Maybe it is that which leads me to feel most comfortable in the presence of men.
Kas is the only homin I've ever told about some things that have been recorded in these pages. I have been thankful for his compassion and his honesty. He has gotten better at knowing which to apply and how, where I am concerned. Words cannot express how thankful I am for that. Last night, he prepared a bed for me in Enon's office, and even tucked me in. I remember hearing my father with my sisters in the other room when I was young, telling them to get in bed so he could 'tuck them in'. I wondered, with Kas leaning over me, his hands moving with a gentle care I would not have expected, if that was what it was like for them. There's something that instills a sense of security with that presence hovering, the warmth of a homin nearby, even their scent.
It was nice, if not very unusual, to be looked after like that. He seemed pleased. I don't know if I really understand the idea of his servitude, but I can see that I am adjusting to it. I hope, at least, to never take unkind advantage of it.
If I thought I could isolate Enon for just a little while, I'd whisk him away from all this guild business. There's no sense in dwelling on it, however.
The negotiation. Haldir was going to move against the Order's outpost. He and Zyquo, for whatever reason, could or would not work out a peaceable agreement. We spoke for a while, Haldir and I, and I asked directly what he wanted. This was all that seemed to be needed to open the doors to peace. I'm no one in the House, really. I'm not an officer, not a High officer, nothing. Just a member. But like my arrangement with Valko, I could not stand by and not try to do my best to set things right. Haldir and the others that followed him returned to the Order. The outpost will be relinquished to House Etchmarc, as the largest concentration of former Dragonblades, to uphold the community service of the outpost. House Etchmarc's stance is Neutral, so far as the religions. Haldir offered other arrangements to Zyquo, but those are for the two of them to handle. Distributing the Hall's stocked materials and the like, a guildhall in Pyr, things like that.
I'm going to try to remain uninvolved in much of the rest of this, except to watch that everything unfolds the way it was agreed. Some have questioned whether I think this will work, but I have faith. I have faith that surely Haldir would not betray his word to me, to all the homins that presented to the field of would-be battle. Please, Jena, let my faith be not unfounded.
Equilibrium.
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Moderators: The Soothsayer, Lanist, Xaphon Zessen
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Yrkanis, Majestic Garden of Verdant Heights
Jeziellia sat in her apartment with a pile of varinx claws resting on the lap of her skirt. Across the room was a barrel with half a dozen or more varinx claws in it. Three times as many littered the floor around the barrel. She picked up a claw from her lap, half-heartedly tossing it. It bounced off the wall and to the floor. She sighed. As she stood, the varinx claws fell to the floor, unheeded. She walked to her desk and sat down.
He all but invited me to his office. To the office. Not to his apartment, not saying he'd come over here, but inviting me to his office. To sleep on that 'whatever you want to call what Kas made you'. I'm not going. Perun is right, in a way.
But so wrong. I don't know what to do with this.
Yes, I want Enon's attention, and yes, he does give me some. I know he's busy. There's half a hundred different things going on at any one moment. Jena knows I have had my fair share of evenings like that. But every evening? The only time we spend any time together anymore is when we are sleeping or
Tonight I do wish I had joined them in the Void, but why? So I could end up just as upset and half as productive? What is so hard to understand about wanting time for just the two of us? No one else. Just us. Not sitting in the guildhall and letting me vent about things that just don't matter.
I miss Silan. I miss harvesting. I miss crafting at the back of Be'Tooly's shop. I miss the Spire. I miss the sincerity. The closeness. The uncomplication. I don't care if that's a word or not.
I keep blaming myself, but what if I've done all I can do? If I try to say it to him, he'll get upset with me. I'll either hurt his feelings, or he'll think I am
I don't know what it is he thinks when I say these things to him. It's as though I'm offending him, but then he'll chuckle at me. Or the other way around.
I'm finding I don't know how to talk to him anymore. This is killing me inside.
Amongst everything else, it's the things I should know how to fix that I can't. Everyone else says everything looks great between Enon and I. They say how lucky I am. They say how they envy me. They wish they were me.
Why am I so ungrateful then? What kind of monster am I, if that's how it is and I cannot see it?
I love Enon, with every ounce of me, and he is kind, generous, and he loves me. I can feel it, see it in his eyes. He shelters me and cares for me and there is nothing in this world that I could want for - except one thing.
Him.
Jeziellia wiped her cheeks and calmly closed the journal. She opened the drawer of her desk and took out a small pouch of dapper. Stepping into the teleporting chamber, she exited outside. Anichi startled to see her.
She put the pouch of dapper in Anichi's hand and he looked confused. She lifted a hand to stop his questions, and spoke quietly, "Do not let anyone into my apartment tonight." Without another word of explanation, she turned and entered the chamber that would send her to her quarters.
Crawling onto her bed, she curled up and faced the wall. Then she began to cry openly - for the first time in a long time.
Jeziellia sat in her apartment with a pile of varinx claws resting on the lap of her skirt. Across the room was a barrel with half a dozen or more varinx claws in it. Three times as many littered the floor around the barrel. She picked up a claw from her lap, half-heartedly tossing it. It bounced off the wall and to the floor. She sighed. As she stood, the varinx claws fell to the floor, unheeded. She walked to her desk and sat down.
He all but invited me to his office. To the office. Not to his apartment, not saying he'd come over here, but inviting me to his office. To sleep on that 'whatever you want to call what Kas made you'. I'm not going. Perun is right, in a way.
But so wrong. I don't know what to do with this.
Yes, I want Enon's attention, and yes, he does give me some. I know he's busy. There's half a hundred different things going on at any one moment. Jena knows I have had my fair share of evenings like that. But every evening? The only time we spend any time together anymore is when we are sleeping or
Tonight I do wish I had joined them in the Void, but why? So I could end up just as upset and half as productive? What is so hard to understand about wanting time for just the two of us? No one else. Just us. Not sitting in the guildhall and letting me vent about things that just don't matter.
I miss Silan. I miss harvesting. I miss crafting at the back of Be'Tooly's shop. I miss the Spire. I miss the sincerity. The closeness. The uncomplication. I don't care if that's a word or not.
I keep blaming myself, but what if I've done all I can do? If I try to say it to him, he'll get upset with me. I'll either hurt his feelings, or he'll think I am
I don't know what it is he thinks when I say these things to him. It's as though I'm offending him, but then he'll chuckle at me. Or the other way around.
I'm finding I don't know how to talk to him anymore. This is killing me inside.
Amongst everything else, it's the things I should know how to fix that I can't. Everyone else says everything looks great between Enon and I. They say how lucky I am. They say how they envy me. They wish they were me.
Why am I so ungrateful then? What kind of monster am I, if that's how it is and I cannot see it?
I love Enon, with every ounce of me, and he is kind, generous, and he loves me. I can feel it, see it in his eyes. He shelters me and cares for me and there is nothing in this world that I could want for - except one thing.
Him.
Jeziellia wiped her cheeks and calmly closed the journal. She opened the drawer of her desk and took out a small pouch of dapper. Stepping into the teleporting chamber, she exited outside. Anichi startled to see her.
She put the pouch of dapper in Anichi's hand and he looked confused. She lifted a hand to stop his questions, and spoke quietly, "Do not let anyone into my apartment tonight." Without another word of explanation, she turned and entered the chamber that would send her to her quarters.
Crawling onto her bed, she curled up and faced the wall. Then she began to cry openly - for the first time in a long time.
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Yrkanis, Majestic Garden of Verdant Heights
Jeziellia rolled over and slowly opened her eyes. A pile of varinx claws was scattered across the floor near the steps. For a moment she couldn't remember why, then she remembered the barrel.
"Mm." She sat up, looking around. Her journal was still sitting on the desk where she'd left it, instead of in her pack where it was normally kept. She rubbed her head and yawned, trying to clear the sleep from her mind. She scuffed her feet, crossing the room. Flipping open the journal to the last page, she sighed and shook her head.
She sat down at her desk.
At least I feel better after some sleep.
I owe Enon an apology. Last night was not a good night for me, despite nothing being really 'wrong'. We are all dealing with stresses, I suppose.
Soon I hope to make arrangements with Aiwe and Korial to go harvesting in Towerbridge. When Kae and Vae return from their trip out into the deserts, maybe the group of us can go out. I remember one of the girls mentioning that early in the formation of the House, Enon had taken them out on a little 'harvesting party'. Maybe I should ask him what he thinks about doing that again. I know he said he's got a harvesting contract right now he's got to work toward filling, but at the least he can have good company while he does that, right?
Me, I haven't been good company for anyone the past couple of days. Well, maybe from time to time.
My apartment is a mess. I need to use up or get rid of all these materials and get a little better organized. Enon can still use more seeds. I may go and gather some of those for him. Perhaps if I take one of the House members out foraging, we can split the efforts - a node for their crafting needs, a node for Enon's.
My mount is still out at Towerbridge. I haven't forgotten. Honest.
Somewhere in between, I'll get some more harvesting done for myself.
After following Kas around yesterday - the incident with the bodoc and the wombai still makes me giggle - I've finally figured out what it was I was getting wrong with the healing channeling. The trainer just grinned at me and shook her head. Oh well. I can wear the amplifiers Kas gave me now.
Enon gave me another pair of amplifiers that I won't be able to wear for quite a while, I don't think. Of course he said he'd probably give me a better set long before I worked up to their channeling capabilities. He's right. I hope he doesn't mind when I drop this in the guild hall then, if he does.
Elavali handed me a harvesting suit that is quite extraordinary. I still like the red outfit Zyquo gave me, but the blue of what she handed me is also absolutely gorgeous. It shimmers and reminds me of ice. The trim is red. But they don't clash.
I really need to work on my armoring.
Jeziellia reread the page and nodded to herself. For a moment, she looked at her sleep-deprived ramblings. Her fingers held to the edge of the page. Her lips pressed into a thin line of stern thought, and then relaxed, her hand falling away. "Tearing it out won't change anything, any more than tearing out half a dozen other pages..." she murmured to herself, closing the journal. She leaned over and tucked it into the bottom of her pack.
Jeziellia turned to look over her apartment, her eyes going to the scattered varinx claws. "First, to clean up this mess." She looked around. She was talking to herself. "Second, think about getting a pet so I don't feel as stupid speaking out loud." She shook her head with a rueful grin and set to work.
Jeziellia rolled over and slowly opened her eyes. A pile of varinx claws was scattered across the floor near the steps. For a moment she couldn't remember why, then she remembered the barrel.
"Mm." She sat up, looking around. Her journal was still sitting on the desk where she'd left it, instead of in her pack where it was normally kept. She rubbed her head and yawned, trying to clear the sleep from her mind. She scuffed her feet, crossing the room. Flipping open the journal to the last page, she sighed and shook her head.
She sat down at her desk.
At least I feel better after some sleep.
I owe Enon an apology. Last night was not a good night for me, despite nothing being really 'wrong'. We are all dealing with stresses, I suppose.
Soon I hope to make arrangements with Aiwe and Korial to go harvesting in Towerbridge. When Kae and Vae return from their trip out into the deserts, maybe the group of us can go out. I remember one of the girls mentioning that early in the formation of the House, Enon had taken them out on a little 'harvesting party'. Maybe I should ask him what he thinks about doing that again. I know he said he's got a harvesting contract right now he's got to work toward filling, but at the least he can have good company while he does that, right?
Me, I haven't been good company for anyone the past couple of days. Well, maybe from time to time.
My apartment is a mess. I need to use up or get rid of all these materials and get a little better organized. Enon can still use more seeds. I may go and gather some of those for him. Perhaps if I take one of the House members out foraging, we can split the efforts - a node for their crafting needs, a node for Enon's.
My mount is still out at Towerbridge. I haven't forgotten. Honest.
Somewhere in between, I'll get some more harvesting done for myself.
After following Kas around yesterday - the incident with the bodoc and the wombai still makes me giggle - I've finally figured out what it was I was getting wrong with the healing channeling. The trainer just grinned at me and shook her head. Oh well. I can wear the amplifiers Kas gave me now.
Enon gave me another pair of amplifiers that I won't be able to wear for quite a while, I don't think. Of course he said he'd probably give me a better set long before I worked up to their channeling capabilities. He's right. I hope he doesn't mind when I drop this in the guild hall then, if he does.
Elavali handed me a harvesting suit that is quite extraordinary. I still like the red outfit Zyquo gave me, but the blue of what she handed me is also absolutely gorgeous. It shimmers and reminds me of ice. The trim is red. But they don't clash.
I really need to work on my armoring.
Jeziellia reread the page and nodded to herself. For a moment, she looked at her sleep-deprived ramblings. Her fingers held to the edge of the page. Her lips pressed into a thin line of stern thought, and then relaxed, her hand falling away. "Tearing it out won't change anything, any more than tearing out half a dozen other pages..." she murmured to herself, closing the journal. She leaned over and tucked it into the bottom of her pack.
Jeziellia turned to look over her apartment, her eyes going to the scattered varinx claws. "First, to clean up this mess." She looked around. She was talking to herself. "Second, think about getting a pet so I don't feel as stupid speaking out loud." She shook her head with a rueful grin and set to work.
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Destiny's End Outpost, Nexus Minor
Jeziellia rolled over, lifting an arm to shield her eyes from the sun. For a moment she didn't know where she was. Remnants of a fallen building shielded her from the autumn breeze that bore the chill of an incoming storm, and bolobi grazed in the distance.
"Mm, Nexus." She sat up. She must've fallen asleep when she sat down to rest and wait for the weather to shift.
She stretched and looked around. She didn't feel like going anywhere just yet, and there was no rush to set about her daily business. She pulled her journal out of her pack.
I made it to Nexus Minor on my own. The Abyss is a nasty place, and to be honest, I did not expect to make it through at all. My dash through the first crowd of Tyranchae was made only in hopes of seeing what lay beyond, so that I would know what to expect the next time i attempted the journey. Instead, it turned out to be the best idea. I ran until the tyranchae lost interest. The Cutes were harder, but I did manage to lose them in a crowd of yelk, and to avoid running into Wikkah, the kirosta.
I suppose I was overdue for an embarrassing situation. I knew Kas was coming along behind me - it is his task to make sure I'm safe (probably from myself more than anything else) - but I thought I had time. I stripped off my heavy armor and focused my concentration on a rather complex prospection. I was so set in my concentration that I didn't even sense his approach until I heard his footstep behind me. It was Kas. And there I stood in nothing but my petals, in the pouring rain. In a way now, it is funny, but I still blush to think about it. Normally I'm far more careful. Next time I carry at least a lighter weight shirt and skirt.
The last few days have been great. Enon's been finishing up more of his arrangements with other guilds, for catalyser crystal donations or trades, and defense agreements and the like. He's been very busy, and I'm glad to see his time freeing up a little bit. Very glad.
I had asked if there was anything I could do to help, and given a few contacts to make. I'm extremely nervous. On the other hand, I did get to meet Kyerna of the Red Ribbon Army last night. Also, other members of the Samsara.
The Pub night was fairly enjoyable, if not awkward for me. Though the term "socialite" has been applied to how I was on Silan, I really wasn't. I answered questions and helped people. This brought people to me. It's entirely different terrain to cross when you are the one trying to approach others. Kostika and the others were very pleasant, and had much to discuss, but it wasn't as easy for me to integrate into the conversations. In time, getting to know them, it will be easier I know.
Their pet varinx makes me a little nervous, but he seems to be well fed. Probably why he's domesticated. I'm surprised he isn't bigger.
Other things of note escape me at the moment.
Disturbing words have come to me involving things I'd rather not even commit to writing. I'm so tired of being played around with by homins. It hurts me more than it angers me, though. Why be so kind and gracious directly, and then go and do the opposite when unseen? I don't understand.
I am very hopeful for a time of peace for the House, the Order, and the Circle. Everyone involved deserves such.
Perhaps later I will practice tracking down nodes in the Prime Roots some more.
Jeziellia rolled over, lifting an arm to shield her eyes from the sun. For a moment she didn't know where she was. Remnants of a fallen building shielded her from the autumn breeze that bore the chill of an incoming storm, and bolobi grazed in the distance.
"Mm, Nexus." She sat up. She must've fallen asleep when she sat down to rest and wait for the weather to shift.
She stretched and looked around. She didn't feel like going anywhere just yet, and there was no rush to set about her daily business. She pulled her journal out of her pack.
I made it to Nexus Minor on my own. The Abyss is a nasty place, and to be honest, I did not expect to make it through at all. My dash through the first crowd of Tyranchae was made only in hopes of seeing what lay beyond, so that I would know what to expect the next time i attempted the journey. Instead, it turned out to be the best idea. I ran until the tyranchae lost interest. The Cutes were harder, but I did manage to lose them in a crowd of yelk, and to avoid running into Wikkah, the kirosta.
I suppose I was overdue for an embarrassing situation. I knew Kas was coming along behind me - it is his task to make sure I'm safe (probably from myself more than anything else) - but I thought I had time. I stripped off my heavy armor and focused my concentration on a rather complex prospection. I was so set in my concentration that I didn't even sense his approach until I heard his footstep behind me. It was Kas. And there I stood in nothing but my petals, in the pouring rain. In a way now, it is funny, but I still blush to think about it. Normally I'm far more careful. Next time I carry at least a lighter weight shirt and skirt.
The last few days have been great. Enon's been finishing up more of his arrangements with other guilds, for catalyser crystal donations or trades, and defense agreements and the like. He's been very busy, and I'm glad to see his time freeing up a little bit. Very glad.
I had asked if there was anything I could do to help, and given a few contacts to make. I'm extremely nervous. On the other hand, I did get to meet Kyerna of the Red Ribbon Army last night. Also, other members of the Samsara.
The Pub night was fairly enjoyable, if not awkward for me. Though the term "socialite" has been applied to how I was on Silan, I really wasn't. I answered questions and helped people. This brought people to me. It's entirely different terrain to cross when you are the one trying to approach others. Kostika and the others were very pleasant, and had much to discuss, but it wasn't as easy for me to integrate into the conversations. In time, getting to know them, it will be easier I know.
Their pet varinx makes me a little nervous, but he seems to be well fed. Probably why he's domesticated. I'm surprised he isn't bigger.
Other things of note escape me at the moment.
Disturbing words have come to me involving things I'd rather not even commit to writing. I'm so tired of being played around with by homins. It hurts me more than it angers me, though. Why be so kind and gracious directly, and then go and do the opposite when unseen? I don't understand.
I am very hopeful for a time of peace for the House, the Order, and the Circle. Everyone involved deserves such.
Perhaps later I will practice tracking down nodes in the Prime Roots some more.
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Jeziellia arrived in Silan, dressed in the purple Fyros garb that Kae had so lovingly made for her. The purple fabric was immaculately clean. She'd waited until arriving at the island to change. Her tattoos were disguised with colored powder, and her hair had been tied back in the Yubo Tails fashion. She had to look like she belonged here, or the Rangers would be rather upset.
She made her way through the bustling and sometimes confused groups of homins in the camp. The urge to answer questions and help others trembled right behind her lips, but she held her tongue and her course. The letter from Sterga was crumpled and held tightly in her hand.
"Ah, Jeziellia." Sterga Hamla smiled at his former student, but she did not smile in return.
"Sterga." She nodded. "I received your letter and came directly. What is wrong with Ema?" The worry she'd been withholding held every muscle in her body taut.
Sterga sighed and paced to the flap of his tent, gesturing for her to sit down. She did. He stepped outside for a moment and she could hear him giving speaking to someone - sending them to bring Emaelle here. He returned. "There's nothing wrong with her," he paused and Jeziellia frowned, "yet."
"What do you mean yet?"
He gestured for her to wait, and though she continued to frown, she sat in silence. It was a short time before she heard Ema's approach.
"Hey, look, really. I did not put that sack of yelk dung in his tent! C'mon, do we have to go in there...?"
Jeziellia shook her head as the flap opened and her sister came in.
Emaelle blinked. "Jezi?"
Jeziellia smiled slightly at her baby sister and nodded. The smaller girl sprang at her older sister and tackled Jeziellia back onto the bench upon which she was sitting.
"By Jena, Jezi! What are you doing here?"
Sterga cleared his throat, and Jeziellia nodded in his direction. "I have some bad news for the both of you..."
She made her way through the bustling and sometimes confused groups of homins in the camp. The urge to answer questions and help others trembled right behind her lips, but she held her tongue and her course. The letter from Sterga was crumpled and held tightly in her hand.
* * *
"Ah, Jeziellia." Sterga Hamla smiled at his former student, but she did not smile in return.
"Sterga." She nodded. "I received your letter and came directly. What is wrong with Ema?" The worry she'd been withholding held every muscle in her body taut.
Sterga sighed and paced to the flap of his tent, gesturing for her to sit down. She did. He stepped outside for a moment and she could hear him giving speaking to someone - sending them to bring Emaelle here. He returned. "There's nothing wrong with her," he paused and Jeziellia frowned, "yet."
"What do you mean yet?"
He gestured for her to wait, and though she continued to frown, she sat in silence. It was a short time before she heard Ema's approach.
"Hey, look, really. I did not put that sack of yelk dung in his tent! C'mon, do we have to go in there...?"
Jeziellia shook her head as the flap opened and her sister came in.
Emaelle blinked. "Jezi?"
Jeziellia smiled slightly at her baby sister and nodded. The smaller girl sprang at her older sister and tackled Jeziellia back onto the bench upon which she was sitting.
"By Jena, Jezi! What are you doing here?"
Sterga cleared his throat, and Jeziellia nodded in his direction. "I have some bad news for the both of you..."
Jeziellia Mara'tyr
Officer, House Etchmarc, Arispotle
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)
[size=-2]OOC: Jeziellia's Journal is OOC knowledge only. Possibilities of reading it IC should be brought to me for discussion. Thank you![/size]
Officer, House Etchmarc, Arispotle
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)
[size=-2]OOC: Jeziellia's Journal is OOC knowledge only. Possibilities of reading it IC should be brought to me for discussion. Thank you![/size]
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Ranger Encampment, Silan
"Ema, promise me."
"No." Emaelle stuffed her spare skirt into her pack. She'd already strapped on her Ranger armor, her sword at her hip.
Jeziellia sat by the tent flap. Sterga had delivered the message, and Ema had stormed out of the tent, intending to head straight to the Mara'Tyr household. Calaith had specifically requested that they not. "Ema, promise me you won't go."
"No." She shouldered her pack and turned toward the flap. Jeziellia stood up, blocking the exit.
"Ema..."
"No, now get out of my way, Jezi. Nys needs me." The younger girl's eyes were red-rimmed from crying, and her jaw was set with a familiar determination.
Jeziellia spoke quietly, "Father asked that we not come until another messenger is sent. Promise me you'll stay here." She knew if Ema promised her, that she would stay. Ema had never broken a promise to her sister.
"Move, Jezi!" Ema stormed forward, intending to shove her older sister out of the way. When they were younger, Jeziellia always flinched away from the younger girl - but not this time.
Something in Jeziellia's eyes changed and she growled softly. As Ema reached out to shove her aside, Jeziellia grabbed Ema's wrist, turning and twisting the younger, smaller girl's arm up behind her. With a quick side step, Jeziellia turned Ema around and shoved her against the center post of the tent, pinning her there.
Ema gasped in surprise and pain as her sister twisted her arm and then again as she met the solid tent post. She went pale with shock, and the silent moment that followed seemed to last an eternity.
Ema broke the silence, "Jezi...?"
Jeziellia didn't answer, but Ema could feel the hand on her wrist was trembling as the grip was released. Ema rubbed her cheek where it had hit the post and turned to look, aghast, at her sister. This was not like the sister she knew. When she turned, Jeziellia already had her back turned.
Jeziellia's voice was low, "Father said not to come until the next messenger comes. Promise me, Emaelle Mara'Tyr, that you will do as our father has asked."
Ema was too stunned to argue, "...alright, Jezi. I won't go. But Nys-"
Jeziellia cut her off, "Nysia will be fine." Without another word, Jeziellia strode from the tent.
Ema stood there for a long time, rubbing her wrist and staring after her sister.
"Ema, promise me."
"No." Emaelle stuffed her spare skirt into her pack. She'd already strapped on her Ranger armor, her sword at her hip.
Jeziellia sat by the tent flap. Sterga had delivered the message, and Ema had stormed out of the tent, intending to head straight to the Mara'Tyr household. Calaith had specifically requested that they not. "Ema, promise me you won't go."
"No." She shouldered her pack and turned toward the flap. Jeziellia stood up, blocking the exit.
"Ema..."
"No, now get out of my way, Jezi. Nys needs me." The younger girl's eyes were red-rimmed from crying, and her jaw was set with a familiar determination.
Jeziellia spoke quietly, "Father asked that we not come until another messenger is sent. Promise me you'll stay here." She knew if Ema promised her, that she would stay. Ema had never broken a promise to her sister.
"Move, Jezi!" Ema stormed forward, intending to shove her older sister out of the way. When they were younger, Jeziellia always flinched away from the younger girl - but not this time.
Something in Jeziellia's eyes changed and she growled softly. As Ema reached out to shove her aside, Jeziellia grabbed Ema's wrist, turning and twisting the younger, smaller girl's arm up behind her. With a quick side step, Jeziellia turned Ema around and shoved her against the center post of the tent, pinning her there.
Ema gasped in surprise and pain as her sister twisted her arm and then again as she met the solid tent post. She went pale with shock, and the silent moment that followed seemed to last an eternity.
Ema broke the silence, "Jezi...?"
Jeziellia didn't answer, but Ema could feel the hand on her wrist was trembling as the grip was released. Ema rubbed her cheek where it had hit the post and turned to look, aghast, at her sister. This was not like the sister she knew. When she turned, Jeziellia already had her back turned.
Jeziellia's voice was low, "Father said not to come until the next messenger comes. Promise me, Emaelle Mara'Tyr, that you will do as our father has asked."
Ema was too stunned to argue, "...alright, Jezi. I won't go. But Nys-"
Jeziellia cut her off, "Nysia will be fine." Without another word, Jeziellia strode from the tent.
Ema stood there for a long time, rubbing her wrist and staring after her sister.
Jeziellia Mara'tyr
Officer, House Etchmarc, Arispotle
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)
[size=-2]OOC: Jeziellia's Journal is OOC knowledge only. Possibilities of reading it IC should be brought to me for discussion. Thank you![/size]
Officer, House Etchmarc, Arispotle
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)
[size=-2]OOC: Jeziellia's Journal is OOC knowledge only. Possibilities of reading it IC should be brought to me for discussion. Thank you![/size]
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
House Etchmarc Hall, Yrkanis, Majestic Garden of Verdant Heights
It's been a number of days since I've sat down long enough to write, and those days have been very full. Thankfully, the majority of things have been good. As with all good things, there must be a balance of 'bad', but I think these have been the best of days in a while.
Perun's gone off to visit Ema in Silan. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. It certainly doesn't make me happy, but who am I to make her decisions? She told him about Nysia. He had best not tell her. She had best still be on Silan. She's never broken a promise to me before, but this may strain that loyalty. She has the same gift of premonition. It's possible she already knows what I know is coming. I hope it doesn't, but it's so rare that these feelings are wrong. I will have to make arrangements to set out to Silan so that I arrive when the messenger does. She cannot make the journey home on her own, no matter how tough she thinks she is.
I don't like that Father was so vague in his letter about Nysia. If she were "only sick", he would not have sent a letter. I think I know him better than that. I have sent him letters and received none in return. He always had time for me before. What is the trouble now? I've dreamt of Nysia every night since. I haven't told anyone. What difference would it make?
I see her, instead of myself, floating in the blackness. But I can see through her, and in her center there is a small flame. It is greens and blues and golds. It's a warm glow. But then it changes. It begins to grow and as it grows, I can see little veins of purple fire. By the end, she is consumed by the purple flames and she is screaming. Screaming like the two
Screaming like the two Children of Jena that spoke in front of many homins in Zora, with the Grand Guru Cuan. The sound of their screams seized my very heart. The old teachings of Jena as the Supreme Kami are just as valid as any other theory of the divine, but the incorporation of the Goo (as in anything it touches) only corrupts the concept into something that others automatically reject.
I hear their screams sometimes in my dreams, mingled with Nysia's. I've already sent a letter to Father, sped along by as many dapper as I could spare. I hesitate to write it, as though that might make it more true.
If Nysia is infected with the Goo, I am afraid there's nothing to be done. At least nothing I can find on public record. Of course, I wouldn't imagine such a thing would be public knowledge. Considering what the Chlorogoos were doing on Silan, I wouldn't want anyone to know they could use the Goo in those ways "safely" either. I wonder if that makes me similar to the Karavan who refuse to share the secrets of their contraptions.
I found and unearthed my first Supreme node materials just this past day. Kas helped me. It was odd but pleasant to find him out there trying to harvest. I've grown more fond of Kas lately. He's been a true pillar for Enon and the House. Moreso than I ever could be. I know Enon says I do so much for him, for the House. Maybe he's right. Maybe it is more than I'll ever truly know.
Supreme Sha Amber for Enon. Two kinds of Bark for Kas. I have some notes on a shell, some sap, some seeds, and another amber. My logbook is filling up nicely. I did some digging in the Abyss with Aiwe and Korial. I really do like them. Perhaps when I get to know them a little better, I'll have to ask Korial about an experiment I'd like to try. I'm still not comfortable with the idea, and with the way Aiwe got upset the other day about him being nice to 'every female that crosses his path', maybe I should make myself a little scarce?
It would seem people have asked someone if they are in love with me. That's awkward enough to know. More awkward is not knowing what the answer was. Why is this so complicated? I love Enon and there's nothing on Atys that is going to make me leave him. Short of him. I suppose realistically that is something he could do. Regardless, he wouldn't.
I've harvested, sometimes with help (Aiwe, Korial, Kae and Vae) quite a bit in the last few days. Kae and Vae helped me gather materials to practice my armor crafting. I have learned almost all of the patterns for Fyros Medium armor, even the medium grade designs. Aiwe, at least, has been very pleased with this. I, in turn, love the suit of medium Matisian armor she made for me. It is white - thanks to the resin I brought her from the Roots - and just gorgeous. I don't care about the enchantments. I wore it on a trek across Under Spring, and then from the Desert into the Jungle. Sturdy enough, I'd say.
Other than the armoring materials though, the rest have gone to Enon or one of the younger members. Seeds and amber to Enon. Both for him to practice with, and to make plant resistant jewels. I'm glad it's going to good use. Mia careplanned for me last night. We worked in the Jungle. It didn't seem right to teach her more about Forest foraging, when she knows less about the jungle already. She saw Dai-den, Kim-kol, and Bajam. Bajam passed a little close, but didn't seem interested in a homin-snack at the time. We spent most of the evening near Paramount Stock though, after a botched attempt at helping Elavali get back on her feet.
I found a couple excellent nodes, and sent Mia home with enough materials to get her a good bit of practice. Oh, and Emberstorm harvested a bundle of materials for me. I crafted her an axe in return. Bellator still praises me for having some of the best axes he's found. It seems he's been shopping around the desert, and what he finds on sale that is comparable in quality to mine doesn't do nearly as much damage. I told him I never give away or sell anything I wouldn't use. That probably wouldn't be true though, if someone asked me for a specific configuration of materials. I'll make a homin anything they want, any way they want, if they bring me the parts.
Neither here nor there. I can create axes rated at a quality level of 130. My amplifiers are getting better. I need to work on my heavy armor again soon. Most look at me with a boggled expression when I talk about everything I am doing. Most like to concentrate on one thing at a time. Lately, I'm finding I cannot. I think that's part of why I like Korial and Aiwe so much. They don't mind my fluttering. That's what I've taken to calling it - fluttering. Like a butterfly in a field of flowers. There's never a pattern. They just kind of flit from one to the next - whichever seems attractive at the moment. That's how I ended up crossing Under Spring in fact. Oh well.
I'm looking forward to going back out to the Nexus to explore. Maybe I can convince Kas to come with me. It was very nice to spend time with him, and just be a little more of myself.
It's been a number of days since I've sat down long enough to write, and those days have been very full. Thankfully, the majority of things have been good. As with all good things, there must be a balance of 'bad', but I think these have been the best of days in a while.
Perun's gone off to visit Ema in Silan. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. It certainly doesn't make me happy, but who am I to make her decisions? She told him about Nysia. He had best not tell her. She had best still be on Silan. She's never broken a promise to me before, but this may strain that loyalty. She has the same gift of premonition. It's possible she already knows what I know is coming. I hope it doesn't, but it's so rare that these feelings are wrong. I will have to make arrangements to set out to Silan so that I arrive when the messenger does. She cannot make the journey home on her own, no matter how tough she thinks she is.
I don't like that Father was so vague in his letter about Nysia. If she were "only sick", he would not have sent a letter. I think I know him better than that. I have sent him letters and received none in return. He always had time for me before. What is the trouble now? I've dreamt of Nysia every night since. I haven't told anyone. What difference would it make?
I see her, instead of myself, floating in the blackness. But I can see through her, and in her center there is a small flame. It is greens and blues and golds. It's a warm glow. But then it changes. It begins to grow and as it grows, I can see little veins of purple fire. By the end, she is consumed by the purple flames and she is screaming. Screaming like the two
Screaming like the two Children of Jena that spoke in front of many homins in Zora, with the Grand Guru Cuan. The sound of their screams seized my very heart. The old teachings of Jena as the Supreme Kami are just as valid as any other theory of the divine, but the incorporation of the Goo (as in anything it touches) only corrupts the concept into something that others automatically reject.
I hear their screams sometimes in my dreams, mingled with Nysia's. I've already sent a letter to Father, sped along by as many dapper as I could spare. I hesitate to write it, as though that might make it more true.
If Nysia is infected with the Goo, I am afraid there's nothing to be done. At least nothing I can find on public record. Of course, I wouldn't imagine such a thing would be public knowledge. Considering what the Chlorogoos were doing on Silan, I wouldn't want anyone to know they could use the Goo in those ways "safely" either. I wonder if that makes me similar to the Karavan who refuse to share the secrets of their contraptions.
I found and unearthed my first Supreme node materials just this past day. Kas helped me. It was odd but pleasant to find him out there trying to harvest. I've grown more fond of Kas lately. He's been a true pillar for Enon and the House. Moreso than I ever could be. I know Enon says I do so much for him, for the House. Maybe he's right. Maybe it is more than I'll ever truly know.
Supreme Sha Amber for Enon. Two kinds of Bark for Kas. I have some notes on a shell, some sap, some seeds, and another amber. My logbook is filling up nicely. I did some digging in the Abyss with Aiwe and Korial. I really do like them. Perhaps when I get to know them a little better, I'll have to ask Korial about an experiment I'd like to try. I'm still not comfortable with the idea, and with the way Aiwe got upset the other day about him being nice to 'every female that crosses his path', maybe I should make myself a little scarce?
It would seem people have asked someone if they are in love with me. That's awkward enough to know. More awkward is not knowing what the answer was. Why is this so complicated? I love Enon and there's nothing on Atys that is going to make me leave him. Short of him. I suppose realistically that is something he could do. Regardless, he wouldn't.
I've harvested, sometimes with help (Aiwe, Korial, Kae and Vae) quite a bit in the last few days. Kae and Vae helped me gather materials to practice my armor crafting. I have learned almost all of the patterns for Fyros Medium armor, even the medium grade designs. Aiwe, at least, has been very pleased with this. I, in turn, love the suit of medium Matisian armor she made for me. It is white - thanks to the resin I brought her from the Roots - and just gorgeous. I don't care about the enchantments. I wore it on a trek across Under Spring, and then from the Desert into the Jungle. Sturdy enough, I'd say.
Other than the armoring materials though, the rest have gone to Enon or one of the younger members. Seeds and amber to Enon. Both for him to practice with, and to make plant resistant jewels. I'm glad it's going to good use. Mia careplanned for me last night. We worked in the Jungle. It didn't seem right to teach her more about Forest foraging, when she knows less about the jungle already. She saw Dai-den, Kim-kol, and Bajam. Bajam passed a little close, but didn't seem interested in a homin-snack at the time. We spent most of the evening near Paramount Stock though, after a botched attempt at helping Elavali get back on her feet.
I found a couple excellent nodes, and sent Mia home with enough materials to get her a good bit of practice. Oh, and Emberstorm harvested a bundle of materials for me. I crafted her an axe in return. Bellator still praises me for having some of the best axes he's found. It seems he's been shopping around the desert, and what he finds on sale that is comparable in quality to mine doesn't do nearly as much damage. I told him I never give away or sell anything I wouldn't use. That probably wouldn't be true though, if someone asked me for a specific configuration of materials. I'll make a homin anything they want, any way they want, if they bring me the parts.
Neither here nor there. I can create axes rated at a quality level of 130. My amplifiers are getting better. I need to work on my heavy armor again soon. Most look at me with a boggled expression when I talk about everything I am doing. Most like to concentrate on one thing at a time. Lately, I'm finding I cannot. I think that's part of why I like Korial and Aiwe so much. They don't mind my fluttering. That's what I've taken to calling it - fluttering. Like a butterfly in a field of flowers. There's never a pattern. They just kind of flit from one to the next - whichever seems attractive at the moment. That's how I ended up crossing Under Spring in fact. Oh well.
I'm looking forward to going back out to the Nexus to explore. Maybe I can convince Kas to come with me. It was very nice to spend time with him, and just be a little more of myself.
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Kuild Encampment, Nexus Minor
Another few days of being busy enough that nothing of real note has happened. I suppose that's not entirely true.
Kae and Vae have exceeded my magical studies. Korial has as well, of course. The girls are all well on their way to matching, if not exceeding, my abilities with a blade as well. Crafting and digging too. I'm trying very hard not to, but sometimes I find it disheartening. On one hand, I am very proud of all of them. I couldn't be any happier for them. On the other hand, much smaller and hidden in the back of my mind, I wonder now what I offer the House.
"You're Jezi!" When will being "Jezi" not be enough, or not be what the house needs? What exactly does that bring to the House anyway?
This is all nonsense. I'm sure I'll feel better when the matter with Nysia is resolved, one way or the other.
I just want to disappear into the forest and dig for a while. Or the Roots. I wonder if I'm capable of getting Korial and Aiwe to Windy Gate. Maybe we'll find out.
Addendum: I was feeling some kind of strange overflow of thought from Perun. I'm worried, but I don't know if I should bother trying to help or ask. Inevitably it comes back around to my relationship with Enon, or his lack of a friendly one with the same. But there was a brush of contact I don't think he intended. After that, the overflow was like - the constant sounds in the distance when you are out in the jungles?
I haven't seen Farron in a while, or the others of Cymurs Kha. I hope they are doing well.
Another few days of being busy enough that nothing of real note has happened. I suppose that's not entirely true.
Kae and Vae have exceeded my magical studies. Korial has as well, of course. The girls are all well on their way to matching, if not exceeding, my abilities with a blade as well. Crafting and digging too. I'm trying very hard not to, but sometimes I find it disheartening. On one hand, I am very proud of all of them. I couldn't be any happier for them. On the other hand, much smaller and hidden in the back of my mind, I wonder now what I offer the House.
"You're Jezi!" When will being "Jezi" not be enough, or not be what the house needs? What exactly does that bring to the House anyway?
This is all nonsense. I'm sure I'll feel better when the matter with Nysia is resolved, one way or the other.
I just want to disappear into the forest and dig for a while. Or the Roots. I wonder if I'm capable of getting Korial and Aiwe to Windy Gate. Maybe we'll find out.
Addendum: I was feeling some kind of strange overflow of thought from Perun. I'm worried, but I don't know if I should bother trying to help or ask. Inevitably it comes back around to my relationship with Enon, or his lack of a friendly one with the same. But there was a brush of contact I don't think he intended. After that, the overflow was like - the constant sounds in the distance when you are out in the jungles?
I haven't seen Farron in a while, or the others of Cymurs Kha. I hope they are doing well.
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Yrkanis, Majestic Garden of Verdant Heights
The past few days have been full of node hunting, and I'm growing weary. I thought, at first, that I might just be getting tired of chasing nodes down, studying them, and then doing a little harvesting, but I don't think that's it. I don't feel like doing much of anything. I feel less like doing things with other homins.
It isn't that I dislike them, by far. I don't feel like smiling and being cheerful, but I'm not ready to talk about Nysia right now, if I ever will be. It's becoming very distracting. I haven't heard from Ema, and that worries me a little. Granted, we don't write to each other much, but all of this has left me very confused. Confused isn't the right word, but it is the best I can think of right now.
I've documented a lot of nodes and hopefully my research can be of use to the House in the future.
I spent some time at the hot springs outside Gibbakin's lair. Kas was right. It's very nice for the skin, not to mention, a very isolated location. I swam there for a while, and was glad the few gibbai nearby did not bother my clothing. In fact, they didn't seem to notice me at all, which is more than fine with me.
Vae is advancing very quickly with her study of amplifiers. I admit, at times I am jealous. It passes as quickly as it comes, and leaves guilt in its wake. I'm very proud of those girls, and of all of the younger homin in the House. They are advancing very well in their chosen paths and they try very hard to be good, kind homins, and help one another while supporting the House.
Enon's work has fluxed. Sometimes he's very busy with things, and others he's not at all. He's been exhausted lately. I hope he's been getting some much deserved rest. I do wish though, that House members did not worry that others were 'too busy' to entertain their requests to fulfill needs. If nothing else, when they need jewelry, I could harvest the needed materials so they could hand them immediately to Enon and he could make the jewelry they needed right at that moment, instead of trying to remember who needed what later. I will see what may need to be arranged.
Or maybe I should leave the task to an officer of the House? I don't know.
I don't know what to do with myself. I've spent most of the night pacing in my apartment. Even at nodes lately, I pace. Not when anyone's around, of course. That would just bring a chorus of "What's wrong?" and it's nothing I want to discuss.
I hope the message from Father comes soon. I also dread that it will prove my feelings true.
The past few days have been full of node hunting, and I'm growing weary. I thought, at first, that I might just be getting tired of chasing nodes down, studying them, and then doing a little harvesting, but I don't think that's it. I don't feel like doing much of anything. I feel less like doing things with other homins.
It isn't that I dislike them, by far. I don't feel like smiling and being cheerful, but I'm not ready to talk about Nysia right now, if I ever will be. It's becoming very distracting. I haven't heard from Ema, and that worries me a little. Granted, we don't write to each other much, but all of this has left me very confused. Confused isn't the right word, but it is the best I can think of right now.
I've documented a lot of nodes and hopefully my research can be of use to the House in the future.
I spent some time at the hot springs outside Gibbakin's lair. Kas was right. It's very nice for the skin, not to mention, a very isolated location. I swam there for a while, and was glad the few gibbai nearby did not bother my clothing. In fact, they didn't seem to notice me at all, which is more than fine with me.
Vae is advancing very quickly with her study of amplifiers. I admit, at times I am jealous. It passes as quickly as it comes, and leaves guilt in its wake. I'm very proud of those girls, and of all of the younger homin in the House. They are advancing very well in their chosen paths and they try very hard to be good, kind homins, and help one another while supporting the House.
Enon's work has fluxed. Sometimes he's very busy with things, and others he's not at all. He's been exhausted lately. I hope he's been getting some much deserved rest. I do wish though, that House members did not worry that others were 'too busy' to entertain their requests to fulfill needs. If nothing else, when they need jewelry, I could harvest the needed materials so they could hand them immediately to Enon and he could make the jewelry they needed right at that moment, instead of trying to remember who needed what later. I will see what may need to be arranged.
Or maybe I should leave the task to an officer of the House? I don't know.
I don't know what to do with myself. I've spent most of the night pacing in my apartment. Even at nodes lately, I pace. Not when anyone's around, of course. That would just bring a chorus of "What's wrong?" and it's nothing I want to discuss.
I hope the message from Father comes soon. I also dread that it will prove my feelings true.
Journal of Jeziellia, Matis
Mara'Tyr House, Antanas Settlement
Mystia, AC 1, Jena Year 2536
Calaith sat in front of the fireplace with an amber cup one hand. The fingers of his free hand tapped on the arm of his chair; the only outward sign of the tumult of emotions that warred within the aging Matis. The house was quiet, save for the crackle of the fire, but Shen-Yu approached unheard.
Shen-Yu did not vocalize, but instead spoke to Calaith through his Seed. "Speak your troubles, Mara'Tyr." The lanky Zoraï stood at Calaith's right shoulder.
Calaith sighed outwardly, "I don't know what to do, Shen. The boy was right to look at me the way he did when I said I was always honest with my children. I haven't been. This whole thing has been a lie." Calaith looked to his left, and the small stand where a stack of worn journals sat, along with a small bag of roughly made amber cubes.
Shen-Yu followed Calaith's gaze. His mask was expressionless, and held that way until the Zoraï wished for it to be otherwise. Again he spoke through his Seed to Calaith, "Then tell the truth."
The statement was a simple one, but the implications were not. The truth meant unknowns and disruptions of the world he'd tried to build for his family for so many years. "But, Jeziellia..."
Shen-Yu cut him off, this time speaking aloud, "Jeziellia Mara'Tyr is an adult now, Calaith. You cannot protect her forever from who she is. From what she is. Someone will find out; it is best she is prepared."
"What about the others?" Calaith's voice cracked with worry. He lifted his cup and took another drink of the wine that seemed to always fill it of late.
"The root wine clouds you, Mara'Tyr. Best that is your last cup for the night. As to the others, they do not wish the truth, only a quiet family undisturbed by the Mara'Tyr legacy." Shen-Yu's presence snaked through Calaith's mind. "They never wished the child."
"I know." Calaith drank again and closed his eyes. Mireya all but hated Jeziellia, and the life they had given up because of the child. Valael, Nysia, and Malasyon were not allowed to even speak to the girl. She was so lonely, closed up in his study. He spent what time he could with her, but she was always so distant, aloof, lost to him. Her mind was closed, unlike a young child's. He was glad that his youngest, Emaelle, had seemed to reach the girl. Jeziellia was fond of Ema, he knew. Even if closed, her nurturing instincts were somehow strong.
"Calaith." Shen-Yu's pressing pulled his focus back to the present. "Only you can decide, but it may be time for the child to know the truth of her inheritance." The Zoraï's mental voice and impression held no emotion. It made Calaith shiver.
A scream from the upper floor broke the silence. Both men looked in its direction. Calaith paled and look at Shen-Yu. Even without their Seeds linked, the question was clear on his face.
"Yes, it will be soon. You must decide. And send for your ...children." Shen-Yu turned and strode through the doorway toward the stairs, leaving Calaith alone with his thoughts and the barely muffled sound of his eldest daughter's tormented, fevered screaming.
Mystia, AC 1, Jena Year 2536
Calaith sat in front of the fireplace with an amber cup one hand. The fingers of his free hand tapped on the arm of his chair; the only outward sign of the tumult of emotions that warred within the aging Matis. The house was quiet, save for the crackle of the fire, but Shen-Yu approached unheard.
Shen-Yu did not vocalize, but instead spoke to Calaith through his Seed. "Speak your troubles, Mara'Tyr." The lanky Zoraï stood at Calaith's right shoulder.
Calaith sighed outwardly, "I don't know what to do, Shen. The boy was right to look at me the way he did when I said I was always honest with my children. I haven't been. This whole thing has been a lie." Calaith looked to his left, and the small stand where a stack of worn journals sat, along with a small bag of roughly made amber cubes.
Shen-Yu followed Calaith's gaze. His mask was expressionless, and held that way until the Zoraï wished for it to be otherwise. Again he spoke through his Seed to Calaith, "Then tell the truth."
The statement was a simple one, but the implications were not. The truth meant unknowns and disruptions of the world he'd tried to build for his family for so many years. "But, Jeziellia..."
Shen-Yu cut him off, this time speaking aloud, "Jeziellia Mara'Tyr is an adult now, Calaith. You cannot protect her forever from who she is. From what she is. Someone will find out; it is best she is prepared."
"What about the others?" Calaith's voice cracked with worry. He lifted his cup and took another drink of the wine that seemed to always fill it of late.
"The root wine clouds you, Mara'Tyr. Best that is your last cup for the night. As to the others, they do not wish the truth, only a quiet family undisturbed by the Mara'Tyr legacy." Shen-Yu's presence snaked through Calaith's mind. "They never wished the child."
"I know." Calaith drank again and closed his eyes. Mireya all but hated Jeziellia, and the life they had given up because of the child. Valael, Nysia, and Malasyon were not allowed to even speak to the girl. She was so lonely, closed up in his study. He spent what time he could with her, but she was always so distant, aloof, lost to him. Her mind was closed, unlike a young child's. He was glad that his youngest, Emaelle, had seemed to reach the girl. Jeziellia was fond of Ema, he knew. Even if closed, her nurturing instincts were somehow strong.
"Calaith." Shen-Yu's pressing pulled his focus back to the present. "Only you can decide, but it may be time for the child to know the truth of her inheritance." The Zoraï's mental voice and impression held no emotion. It made Calaith shiver.
A scream from the upper floor broke the silence. Both men looked in its direction. Calaith paled and look at Shen-Yu. Even without their Seeds linked, the question was clear on his face.
"Yes, it will be soon. You must decide. And send for your ...children." Shen-Yu turned and strode through the doorway toward the stairs, leaving Calaith alone with his thoughts and the barely muffled sound of his eldest daughter's tormented, fevered screaming.
Jeziellia Mara'tyr
Officer, House Etchmarc, Arispotle
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)
[size=-2]OOC: Jeziellia's Journal is OOC knowledge only. Possibilities of reading it IC should be brought to me for discussion. Thank you![/size]
Officer, House Etchmarc, Arispotle
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)
[size=-2]OOC: Jeziellia's Journal is OOC knowledge only. Possibilities of reading it IC should be brought to me for discussion. Thank you![/size]