Introducing Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting
Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 10:07 pm
My Fellow Atysians, Hominers and Hominettes, leave that Yelk to molder a moment, let that Bodak oscillate freely upon the plains, come take a seat while Dr. Calevin enlightens you to whole new vistas of fashion opportunity.
Friends, how many times have you been on a hunt with your squad, teammates upon whom you depend for your very survival and with whom you hope to engender the respect you deserve, only to find yourself locked in the same old conversation "Okay seriously, it's NOT pink, it's lightish red. Also,it's a GOWN, like at graduation? Yeah yeah laugh it up. C'mon guys...can we just get to hunting here?"?
Sound all too familiar? And how many times have you arrived on a blind invite only to find that your new team mate is wearing the same prom dress? I don't care what your gender preference, that's embarrassment!
Friends, Dr. Calevin feels your pain, and Dr. Calevin is determined to help.
After great effort and personal expense I am here today to offer, for a limited time and at trivial cost, Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, with the Patented High Potency Gusset. Folks, these are not so-called Caster Pants, but the genuine article which, just like you, Dr. Calevin puts on one leg at a time.
Consider the quality: Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting are made of the finest hypoallergenic materials and styled to define the cutting edge of Tryker fashion. No longer will you suffer those painful epithets when sidling up to the counter at the Material Merchant. No more "here comes Mr. Yelkenhosen" no no, your erstwhile tormentors will be crowding around trying to get a look at the hottest trend to follow and wishing they had been nicer to you. Folks, this is not the time to hoard your dappers, it is time to be the very image of dapper, of style and of "Je ne sais quoi", and you, yes you, can achieve this, right now, with your purchase today of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting with the Patented High Potency Gusset.
Yes now is the time to throw off the humiliation of your old mage quest handouts and step into a pair of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, available in Wheat, Ecru, Sea Foam,and for those who prefer to wear a corsage, Lightish Red. While Calevin Laboratories are burning the midnight oil to improve the potency of the product, the current model sports quality up to 60 with a 30 pt sap boost or add in a little HP to suit your personal style, Dr. Calevin is here to help you look and feel your best.
Your a vegan you say? Not a problem, Dr. Calevin keeps a completely separate sewing kit ONLY for crafting with harvested ingredients. But regardless of your proclivities you can know for certain that no Yubos were harmed in the making of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, off-the-shelf models are and always will be, 100% Yubo-free.
Now friends Dr. Calevin is sorry to say that among you there are some disbelievers, those who don't trust their eyes and ears but turn to science for proofs, why just this morning I got a /tell which I transcribe here in it's entirety:
Gnoofy says: wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Gnoofy says: Dr. Calevin, you make lots of claims but I don't see any scientific evidence to support them.
Well Mr. Gnoofy, you might want to do your research before popping your head up from that weanie ragus puppy pile, Dr. Calevin has got Science to spare, Science to share with your friends, Science to invest, why take a gander at this quote from Dr. Humunculous Psmith, Professor Emeritus of the Dew Drop Inn-stitute:
"All societies are formed around core principles, and in shame-based societies a pectineal covering is the foundation of any ensemble, which is why we have awarded our highest honor, the Dew Drop Seal of Merit to Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting with the Patented High Potency Gusset".
Friends, Dr. Calevin was greatly honored and humbled by this prestigious award, and it has inspired him to work ever more diligently in the service of his fellow homins.
What's that? You say you are having a hard time finding Genuine Dr. Calevin products? You say you want a particular color that Dr. Calevin doesn't have in stock? You would like a particular combination of Sap and HP boost that he doesn't offer? Or maybe you lack the dappers to buy Genuine All-Weather Pants for Casting but have collected the perfect mats for your own Dream Pant design. Dr. Calevin hears your plaintive cries friends, let me tell you what I am going to do:
Dr. Calevin will now offer, for a limited time, custom in-the-field tailoring services! Simply send me a /tell and I will invite you then bring me your materials and at the first opportunity to assume an attitude of repose I will tailor, on the spot and to your custom specifications, your very own pair of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting at HALF the retail price, you heard right, HALF the price, there are no hidden charges here folks, Dr. Calevin is one homin you can trust.
And friends, Dr. Calevin stands behind his product with the same tenacity as he stands behind the tank. Should the crafting be degraded, there is absolutely no charge whatsoever! Could you ask for more than that? No! No you couldn't, but friends, Dr. Calevin is prepared to offer you even more than fairness, Dr. Calevin wants to share his good fortune with the homins who make it possible, listen closely now:
Should Dr. Calevin level up while tailoring your custom All-Weather Pants for Casting, there is absolutely no charge! Why does Dr. Calevin do it? he does it because he cares about his fellow homin and the betterment of all Hominity. Step right on up folks, don't be shy, you are moments away from the realization of a dream, moments away from being the proud owner of a Genuine pair of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, with the Patented High Potency Gusset.
Look for Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, Dr. Calevin's Footpower Featherweight Boot, Dr. Calevin's Multi-Zippered Cafe Caster Jacket and The Full-Stop Hard-Shell Gauntlet System the at the finer Crystalbell and Fairhaven boutiques.
Friends, how many times have you been on a hunt with your squad, teammates upon whom you depend for your very survival and with whom you hope to engender the respect you deserve, only to find yourself locked in the same old conversation "Okay seriously, it's NOT pink, it's lightish red. Also,it's a GOWN, like at graduation? Yeah yeah laugh it up. C'mon guys...can we just get to hunting here?"?
Sound all too familiar? And how many times have you arrived on a blind invite only to find that your new team mate is wearing the same prom dress? I don't care what your gender preference, that's embarrassment!
Friends, Dr. Calevin feels your pain, and Dr. Calevin is determined to help.
After great effort and personal expense I am here today to offer, for a limited time and at trivial cost, Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, with the Patented High Potency Gusset. Folks, these are not so-called Caster Pants, but the genuine article which, just like you, Dr. Calevin puts on one leg at a time.
Consider the quality: Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting are made of the finest hypoallergenic materials and styled to define the cutting edge of Tryker fashion. No longer will you suffer those painful epithets when sidling up to the counter at the Material Merchant. No more "here comes Mr. Yelkenhosen" no no, your erstwhile tormentors will be crowding around trying to get a look at the hottest trend to follow and wishing they had been nicer to you. Folks, this is not the time to hoard your dappers, it is time to be the very image of dapper, of style and of "Je ne sais quoi", and you, yes you, can achieve this, right now, with your purchase today of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting with the Patented High Potency Gusset.
Yes now is the time to throw off the humiliation of your old mage quest handouts and step into a pair of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, available in Wheat, Ecru, Sea Foam,and for those who prefer to wear a corsage, Lightish Red. While Calevin Laboratories are burning the midnight oil to improve the potency of the product, the current model sports quality up to 60 with a 30 pt sap boost or add in a little HP to suit your personal style, Dr. Calevin is here to help you look and feel your best.
Your a vegan you say? Not a problem, Dr. Calevin keeps a completely separate sewing kit ONLY for crafting with harvested ingredients. But regardless of your proclivities you can know for certain that no Yubos were harmed in the making of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, off-the-shelf models are and always will be, 100% Yubo-free.
Now friends Dr. Calevin is sorry to say that among you there are some disbelievers, those who don't trust their eyes and ears but turn to science for proofs, why just this morning I got a /tell which I transcribe here in it's entirety:
Gnoofy says: wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Gnoofy says: Dr. Calevin, you make lots of claims but I don't see any scientific evidence to support them.
Well Mr. Gnoofy, you might want to do your research before popping your head up from that weanie ragus puppy pile, Dr. Calevin has got Science to spare, Science to share with your friends, Science to invest, why take a gander at this quote from Dr. Humunculous Psmith, Professor Emeritus of the Dew Drop Inn-stitute:
"All societies are formed around core principles, and in shame-based societies a pectineal covering is the foundation of any ensemble, which is why we have awarded our highest honor, the Dew Drop Seal of Merit to Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting with the Patented High Potency Gusset".
Friends, Dr. Calevin was greatly honored and humbled by this prestigious award, and it has inspired him to work ever more diligently in the service of his fellow homins.
What's that? You say you are having a hard time finding Genuine Dr. Calevin products? You say you want a particular color that Dr. Calevin doesn't have in stock? You would like a particular combination of Sap and HP boost that he doesn't offer? Or maybe you lack the dappers to buy Genuine All-Weather Pants for Casting but have collected the perfect mats for your own Dream Pant design. Dr. Calevin hears your plaintive cries friends, let me tell you what I am going to do:
Dr. Calevin will now offer, for a limited time, custom in-the-field tailoring services! Simply send me a /tell and I will invite you then bring me your materials and at the first opportunity to assume an attitude of repose I will tailor, on the spot and to your custom specifications, your very own pair of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting at HALF the retail price, you heard right, HALF the price, there are no hidden charges here folks, Dr. Calevin is one homin you can trust.
And friends, Dr. Calevin stands behind his product with the same tenacity as he stands behind the tank. Should the crafting be degraded, there is absolutely no charge whatsoever! Could you ask for more than that? No! No you couldn't, but friends, Dr. Calevin is prepared to offer you even more than fairness, Dr. Calevin wants to share his good fortune with the homins who make it possible, listen closely now:
Should Dr. Calevin level up while tailoring your custom All-Weather Pants for Casting, there is absolutely no charge! Why does Dr. Calevin do it? he does it because he cares about his fellow homin and the betterment of all Hominity. Step right on up folks, don't be shy, you are moments away from the realization of a dream, moments away from being the proud owner of a Genuine pair of Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, with the Patented High Potency Gusset.
Look for Dr. Calevin's All-Weather Pants for Casting, Dr. Calevin's Footpower Featherweight Boot, Dr. Calevin's Multi-Zippered Cafe Caster Jacket and The Full-Stop Hard-Shell Gauntlet System the at the finer Crystalbell and Fairhaven boutiques.
