Ryzom

Jyudas downs a cup of firewine and leans across the table with a conspiriatorial grin.

"OK, I got this one off Sxarlet."

He pauses dramatically and sets down his cup, taking in a deep breath to commence the telling of the joke...

"Not the only thing people have got off Sxarlet, if you catch my drift..." He winks and then starts into the joke proper, sweeping his hand across as though to describe a large, flat, distant vista...

"These two Trykerettes are walking in the desert. One turns to the other and says... 'By Jena, this is the biggest beach I've ever seen!' and the other turns to her and says... 'You only say that because you've never met Queen Lea!'"

"Ta daa!"

There was a stony silence.

"Fine, you do any better!"

(( This one is an oldie.... not as much because it's a good one, but because I have been spamming it for more than two years.))

Anissa snickers, smiling politely to Jyudas, for she is a Matisian and proud of it. And then she goes, making sure Zahan is somehow busy flirting with the 2 trykerettes that are sitting elsewhere:

"These two Zoraï mystic sages were walking alone, in Void. There was no one else around, and Atysian critters seemed peaceful that morning. Suddenly, one of them smiles and says 'hey I improved my pickpocketing hability !!!' *dramatic pause* .... and the other one looks at him amazed and says .... 'oh, well done!'

she finishes, with a shy embarrased laugh and mumbling .. "I told you it wasn't a good one"..."although it's subtle"... looks at Jy, aware of the average Fyrosian intelligence, and says "I can explain it for you, Jy".



ps:
ooc: In fact, the original one uses game play terms, more like "ding! 147 pickpocketing!" and "oh wow grats"... oh well, bear with me.


ps2:
specially dedicated to tap it can be old, but new generations of refugees need to know "the tale of the two zoraï at void" !!! it's like the "mushroom, mushroom, mushroom, snake snake" thing.

*a voice, as if from a distand world whispers*

"A Bar in Fairhaven. It´s pretty busy and poeple of all races frequent it.
A Matis Warrior, fuming with rage, storms into the room and shouts:

"Wich one of you bufoons has painted my Mektoub out there PINK!!!????"

The Bar explodes with laughter.
In a corner, a massive Fyros gets up from a table, walks up to the Matis and looming over him quite a bit exclaims:

"I did !"

The Matis eyes him up and then replys in a low voice:

"Oh,... it´s dryed. Would you like to varnish now?."

*the voice fades away*

Acridiel
(hope I translated it right)

((sure sure, Jyudas, blame me!))

Sxarlet grins at Acridiel and still giggles about Anissa's joke.

'Ok, this one was told me ages ago by some old scallywag.'

Sxarlet's coughs a bit to get the right accent...

'There be walkin' this old Blackwater Pirate into the bar, and he's be havin' this 'uge stearing wheel in his pants. He be walkin' to the bar, and be orderin' a Grog. The barman 'ands 'im 'is Grog, and then be askin' him. "What's with that steering wheel in yer pants?"

"Arrrr!" the old Blackwater Pirate answers, "it be drivin' me NUTS!"


((OOC: thanks to the guide who told me it when I was preparing the first pirate event.))

((one I am known to repeat from time to time))

Zahan looks up from his deep and thought provoking conversation with two slightly blushing young trykerettes.

"This ones a little political, so bare with me..."

He eyes Anissa and winks.

"Nothing personal intended hun, we still on for dinner sometime I hope?"

Without waiting for an answer he continues:

"How many Trykers does it take to change a glowlamp?"

He looks around, spots the frantically signalling Samsara who know this one trying to shut him up before continuing in a poorly imitated matisian accent;

"Now, alas, none. But in the good old days of the grand Matis Empire a hundred trykers would change a thousand glowlamps at our slightest whim!"

Without waiting for a response Zahan dives out the door and vanishes off down the road.

*Still chuckling at Z's joke, NB gets ready to bolt out the door after his buddy - but decides to throw in a quick joke first*

"How many Nillys Does it take to change a glowlamp?"

"A NILLIAN!" \o/

*dashes out the door*

*pokes his hed back in*

Ah, Zahan you remind me...

"How many Matis does it take to change a glowlamp?"

"Just one,- but trouble is, he keeps waiting for the world to turn around him."

*grins and vanishes again*

Samar, having witnessed the lack of comedy while lingering below the open window, sticks his head in the window...

Well, if you've heard this one, don't blame me. It IS older than I am..

There's this old grey-haired Fyros male sittin' atop a hill over Fairhaven. Next to him stands a young impetuous Matisian male. They have been observing a troup of attractive young Trykerettes madly flirting with some young Fyros who seem more interested in getting the girls drunk and naked than responding to their flirtations.

The Young Matisian turns to the old Fyros and says "Let's run down there and give a couple of those Trykerettes what they're REALLY looking for!"

The old Fyros responds "Nope, let's walk down, and take care of them ALL!"

Without waiting to see how the crowd responds, Samar withdraws and heads back into his favorite desert...

*Steps out of the Shadows as Nightblade tries to run out the door* OOOPS! *Trips Nightblade and Grins as he walks in*

Ah Comedy Club Tonight... Howcome no-one told me . *stares at Samar 'dnaz as he vanishes thru the window* Ah ha...Stop me if you heard this one .

Ever wonder why Samar'dnaz spends so much time out in the desert.....

He's looking for Dirt --->OLDER<--- than him



(OOC: for those who dont know his RL Birthday is comming up real soon.... ....psst....and its his 50th ...Uhoh.....*runs and hides for a few days*)

Alright, I've got another one for you, but you have to do the actions to make it really funny...

It's drinking time (When isn't it?) at the main bar in Fairhaven, the place is packed to the gills (boom, boom) with Tryker, drinking away quite happily when who should turn up but Doubletap?

He marches up the bar, demands their finest wine, sips it, pronounces it to be the most disgusting degenerate filth he's ever tested and then proposes a toast.

"To the Tryker, the stupidest homin on all of Atys!" He cries, and knocks back the amber glass full of wine, despite it's professed undrinkable quality.

There's murmuring all around the bar, the Tryker aren't too happy with this Matisian arrogance and finally, Crythos steps up to challenge the pale-skinned ponce.

"Them's fighting words lanky." Says Crythos, rolling up his sleeves ready for a fight. "You'd better back them words up or you'll be rezzing with the fishes."

"Very well." Says Doubletap. "You seem to take umbrage at my suggestion, tell you what, I'll let you take your swing at me and prove the Tryker are the stupidest race on Matis all in one go, how's that?"

Crythos snorts with derision but figures getting to freely punch this stuck-up nonce is worth the baiting. "You're on." He says.

Doubletap places his hand on the bar and turning to Crythos makes the offer. "Go ahead, hit my hand. Free swing."

Crythos thinks this is too good to be true and, climbing onto a table to get a better impact hurls himself through the air to land a bone-crunching wallop on Doubletap's hand. Only - at the last moment, Doubletap yanks his hand out of the way and Crythos practically shatters his own fist on the bar!

"See? Stupid." Says Doubletap, and minces out of the bar like a big fairy.

Later, Kyerna arrives at the bar, having been off exploring, only to find the bar full of unusually miserable Tryker all staring into the drinks and Crythos with a bandaged hand.

"What on earth has happened here?" Says Kyerna, blinking in astonishment.

"Tryker..." Says Crythos. "Are the stupidest homin on all of Atys..." His head downcast.

"How can you say such a thing!" Cries the indignant Kyerna.

"It's true... and I can prove it." Says Crythos.

He lifts his hand and puts it in front of his face. "Go ahead, hit my hand."