The Atys Times vol. 1
Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2004 6:51 am
This Just In...
Several homins have been reporting a weird phenomenon with the creatures of Atys. It seems that when you kill them they all die in the same fashion. We now go to our man on the scene...Chip Chettly. Chip?
Yes Dave, I'm here on Matis Island and what I've seen is shocking. I've observed several people run head long into the forest and start slaughtering harmless Yubos, Caprynis and Bodocs. But the real story, besides this unprovoked free for all, is this...when a Capryni dies it falls to the left.
Chip, how long has this been happening?
Without fail, whole herds have been falling to the left all day with no sign of slowing anytime soon. When asked some of the hunters suggested that this falling to the left was because it's trying to protect it's 'phat lewtz', but we're not exactly sure what that means.
Have you heard anything else from the people killing these helpless animals?
Yes I tracked down a stocky looking man named Neo691337 and was able to get some answers from him. Apparently it's all part of some sadistic 'game'. When I asked him to go into further detail he called me a 'noob', stripped out of his armor and mooned me while wearing only a loin cloth made out of a fig leaf.
A noob?
Yes, it appears to be some sort of slang these hunters are using.
Interesting...
Yes, but this is just the tip of the iceberg, several locals have told me that the Yubos too are dying in a similar fashion except they consistently seem to give out a little whelp and fall to the right. What madness is this? Back to you Dave.
Thanks Chip. We'll keep you up to date with new information as it comes in.
The Latest Decree from the Gods...
The strange timewarping people are seeing in heavily populated areas is actually a divine gift called Spontaneous Teleportation or Peakaboo and was sent to give you a sneak peek of what lies ahead when you are running.
In related news, several packs of Ragus and Gingos have apparently taken notice and are enjoying this gift as you teleport unwittingly right into the middle of them.
Several homins have been reporting a weird phenomenon with the creatures of Atys. It seems that when you kill them they all die in the same fashion. We now go to our man on the scene...Chip Chettly. Chip?
Yes Dave, I'm here on Matis Island and what I've seen is shocking. I've observed several people run head long into the forest and start slaughtering harmless Yubos, Caprynis and Bodocs. But the real story, besides this unprovoked free for all, is this...when a Capryni dies it falls to the left.
Chip, how long has this been happening?
Without fail, whole herds have been falling to the left all day with no sign of slowing anytime soon. When asked some of the hunters suggested that this falling to the left was because it's trying to protect it's 'phat lewtz', but we're not exactly sure what that means.
Have you heard anything else from the people killing these helpless animals?
Yes I tracked down a stocky looking man named Neo691337 and was able to get some answers from him. Apparently it's all part of some sadistic 'game'. When I asked him to go into further detail he called me a 'noob', stripped out of his armor and mooned me while wearing only a loin cloth made out of a fig leaf.
A noob?
Yes, it appears to be some sort of slang these hunters are using.
Interesting...
Yes, but this is just the tip of the iceberg, several locals have told me that the Yubos too are dying in a similar fashion except they consistently seem to give out a little whelp and fall to the right. What madness is this? Back to you Dave.
Thanks Chip. We'll keep you up to date with new information as it comes in.
The Latest Decree from the Gods...
The strange timewarping people are seeing in heavily populated areas is actually a divine gift called Spontaneous Teleportation or Peakaboo and was sent to give you a sneak peek of what lies ahead when you are running.
In related news, several packs of Ragus and Gingos have apparently taken notice and are enjoying this gift as you teleport unwittingly right into the middle of them.
