filtern wrote:Did it came to your mind that dragging aggro is a way to kill your opponent?
WAR IS DIRTY!!
Sergeant Jack McManus was cut off from his platoon and deep behind enemy lines. He chewed on his stogie and took shelter in a shell hole, laying his rifle across his lap as he thought of his options.
The road back was blocked by the Ratzis, a squad had a machinegun nest set up there at a checkpoint. The clearest route back took him right through them, a perfect place for an ambush.
And ahead of him? A Japanese observer, come to learn from the blitzkrieg war machine of the germans. A squad of elite troops as his guard.
Jack had a plan.
Grabbing his rifle he scrambled out of the crater and snuck up close to the Japs. Suddenly he leaped up and shouted...
"Hey! Japs! Tojo sucks rotten eggs!"
He let off a shot and began running, for all his life was worth back towards the German lines, a string of angry Japanese soldiers streaming behind him, firing off shots, the officer brandishing a sword and gabbling orders in that crazy moon language they spoke.
His legs powered by the sugar of two Babe Ruth chocolate bars Jack easily managed to keep ahead of them, ducking and weaving through wreckage, shots ricocheting around him as he charged towards the German lines, legs pumping, arms flailing, Japanese in hot pursuit.
The Germans stared at him incredulously.
"Gott im Himmel, was is das?" Uttered the German officer.
"Kartoffelkopf..." Muttered the machinegunner and opened fire.
Jack was cut down in a hail of Nazi lead, his pumping legs bringing him, bullet ridden, right into the German lines. He might be dying, but his plan had worked, the Nazis were in for a nasty surprise...
The Japanese group charged over the ridge and into the Germans, and, stopped...
Jack died with the smile fading from his face, the German and Japanese officers standing over his body.
"Vot voss zis idiot trying to accomplish Herr Kapitän?." One of the German troopers asked.
"Ve vill never know." Replied the captain, toeing the cooling corpse with his boot.
The Japanese captain, for his part, dropped his trousers and mimed pitching a loaf onto Jack's steaming body.
"j00 r pwnzored d00d! ROFL!"
The other Japanese loled.
"Crazy moon language..." Muttered the German Captain, and they went back to their posts...