Ryzom

I've been writing what i think is a great story.I've written two chapter all ready but i stopped writting.I dont want to write a story that no one likes.Oh and thank you for the two players who did replie.So please i want to know what you think.Im up for idea.

legokid wrote:I've been writing what i think is a great story.I've written two chapter all ready but i stopped writting.I dont want to write a story that no one likes.Oh and thank you for the two players who did replie.So please i want to know what you think.Im up for idea.

I talk to some friends about the story and they love it.So ill continue writing.I have another story planned about Jena and chosen ones.So you disregard this post sorry again.

go for it

You seem to have a genuine desire to write a good story... you really really have to clean up the spelling, grammer and punctuation if you want folks to read it. I could not make it past the first paragraph...
___________________
DoubleTap - Disciple of Jena - Master Melee Dueler
Matis Dual Blader & Medium Gladiator Champion (Undefeated)
Click here to join Melinoe or read Ultimate Harvesting Guide
Melinoe - Atys Harvesters http://ryzom.twazz.net/
WWJD - What Would Jena Do ?

Stories to read are always good

I also think it's a good story, and I also agree with DT about the grammar/paragraph problems BUT, I also totally appreciate that not everyone's first language is English, and if that's the case here - you've done a great job Writing stories in English cannot be easy if it isn't your first language. It's not just a case of translation, as many people will appreciate.

These comments (and any above) are purely constructive criticism - take them with a light heart as they're intended, and remember the most important comment of them all - your story is very good, keep it up

(OK last comment - as a rule, most of your paragraphs could be broken into 2, at least - make it easier for the reader to digest, and they will surely read to the end Most novels and books have nice bite-size paragraphs - it's not meant to be 'simple', nor is it meant for people with poor reading skills. It's purely to make the reader feel comfortable, and keep them reading all the way.)

vguerin wrote:You seem to have a genuine desire to write a good story... you really really have to clean up the spelling, grammer and punctuation if you want folks to read it. I could not make it past the first paragraph...
___________________
DoubleTap - Disciple of Jena - Master Melee Dueler
Matis Dual Blader & Medium Gladiator Champion (Undefeated)
Click here to join Melinoe or read Ultimate Harvesting Guide
Melinoe - Atys Harvesters http://ryzom.twazz.net/
WWJD - What Would Jena Do ?

Ill try and make the next chapter better.But grammer isn't easy when you write Ryzom storys.But I Promise the next chapter will be alot better.