Ryzom

Well here it is chapter 2 and like the last chapter i would to have your reviews on it.


The Tryker slept well that night knowing the great goddess of Atys,Jena.They awoke sleepily and stumbled around still in a sleepy daze. While Le’Sinta packed up the water and food barrels onto a mount Le’Sindo came over to him and put her head on his shoulder and started to cry.Le’Sinta turned around in a rush holding his sister. “What’s wrong sis” he said in a worried voice. She coked out” you…..y..you…called on Jena.She…sh…she…she told me that you…what….he…her to protect us.”Ya so whats the problem.” She started to clam down I didn’t know you cared so much about us.” Before he could answer .The other came over and La’Beka interrupted “Of course he cares about us, we all care about each other.”Ok sis calm down were so close to a new land and we have to be ready to fight.


A few minutes later they we off.Ga’Lorda was humming a song he made up.”Oh great waters of the diamonds sands and of the calming breeze..hmmmhmmm.He stopped singing when he saw what was greeting them. The strangest kittens that they ever laid eyes on, weapons at the ready when a huge white flying Kitten came towards them. Ten kittens six Tryker the odds weren’t good. The fight started when the flying white kitten slammed. The slam caused the earth to crack all around. Suffering a major wound La’Beka was able to slide under two kittens and cut a deadly wound on their bellies. As he got up he saw the cut killed the kitten but drained all his energy.La’Beka rocked back then fainted hitting the dirt hard. When the others say and heard what happened they all screamed “La’Beka.”At the site Le’Sinta filled with so much anger and saroa that he lost control of this body and cast a spell that he never used before.In this mind he could hear someone telling him what to do. The voice was calm and loving. It told him to raise his arms and put his love and care for his family and friends into a ball. To everyone’s surprise Le’Sinta just cast a spell that only Archmages and Elementalist know how to cast. When the dust settled Be’Cona saw they all the kittens were now dead.At this he ran to Le’Sinta who was fainting. As Le’Sinta fell he thought “how did I do that’s I’m not an Archmage or an elementalist so how……….Jena it was you…..thank you.” As he fit the ground,Ga’Lorda just finished off the last kitten but the kitten slashed his back before it died. When the dust cleared armor was chipped and crack. The ground was stained with blood and cloth.


Le’Sindo had a voice tell her what to as well. The voice was just like her brothers it said “put your care of your friends and family into your heals. “She did as she was told, the spell healed all of Sa’Binga wounds. She did the same for Be’Cona and Ga’Lorda.She turned and ran to his brother and shook him violently but he wouldn’t open his eye neither would La’Beka.She screamed “WAKE UP BROTHER PLEASE WAKE UP!” She started to cry as she loaded his body and La’Beka’s onto a packer. As they continued north she removed her brother one eye goggle and untied his cap so she could run a hand through his short purple hair. She gave a slight smile, for she knew Jena helped him reach that new spell. When they stopped for the night she laid him down and covered him up. She kiss him on the check and said “good night brother and thank you Jena.” As she laid down the others changed the bandages on La’Beka wound. They all said thank you for help protecting us, goodnight

Late that night Le’Sinta had a dream about a woman a strange woman. The woman was dressed in a breath taking pearl-white full body suit with ocean blue trim. Le’Sinta felt that he knew this woman from somewhere he ask in a shaky voice” are you…you Jena.”The woman walk towards him and took off this cap and goggle. She smiled a warm smile as she ran a hand through his purple hair. “You’re just like your sister same smooth purple hair. I thought you would know who I am by now, I’m Jena.”she said calmly. Stumbling for words Le’Sinta”it was you, you’re the voice my sister and I heared you told us how to cast a spell that only priest,Archmages,and elementlist know.Jena stopped him before he could say another word. You ask many questions young one and time is short. I’m giving all of you powers that only masters can control. But you guys are different; all of you have learned the secret of power. “After a moment of thinking it hit him. He calmly said “you mean the secret to the power is love,care,and hope.” Jena nodded. “That’s want we believe no all Tryker believe in.” I’ve told all of your companions about what I’m doing. When the time comes I will teach all of you a new power. Now I must a say farewell my followers are at the valley entrance they will show you to the Zoria City and show you new styles of your skill. Goodbye young Tryker,”she said with a calm voice. The next thing he knew he was back asleep.


That morning they all started singing Ga’Lorda song. Oh great waters of the diamonds sands and of the calming breeze..hmmmhmmm.They stopped when they saw a Karavan officer was in front of them.He bowed to them and waved them over.He said you can put your packer over there, point to a closed in field they them rest and join the officer by the camp fire.Jena told us to expect a small group of Tryker.You coming looking for knowledge and the Zoria......He was cut off my a cry from La’Beka his the back of his shirt was turning red.The Trykers ran to their bags while Le’Sindo used the heal that Jena had taught her. It stopped the bleeding but the wound needed to be covered. The Karavan heard the cry and came running with medicine.


Ga’Lorda and Sa’Binga put a fresh bandage over the wound while the Karavan gave La’Beka medicine to help stop the pain. When the wound was covered and the medicine started to kick in Le’Sinta and Be’Cona carried him to the Karavan’s med bay.When La’Beka was in a deep sleep they returned to the fire. Your friend will be fine, now down to business Jena has informed us that all of you now know the secret of your skill. She wants us to teach you a new power,” he calmly said.” Let me tell what powers you have learned so far,La’Beka can turn any blade into the sharpest blade ever forged.Be’Cona you cat shoot any target within a hundred meter range.Le’Sinta you learned a very powerful spell you can make a fire ball. Your sister Le’Sindo you can heal great wounds with ease.Ga’Lorda you can tell what materials are around you.Sa’Binga you can give any weapon or armor a magical boost.

We suggest you stay here till my new powers are mastered.Now then you must tired ill show you to your rooms. The rooms were nice and cozy; a hot spring was in a enclosed corner where the Trykers washed their wounds and hair which was not the cleanest in the world. While the other relaxed Le’Sinta submerged in that hot water. When he remerged all this hair was in his face. He flipped his hair back which shot water into the girls faces.Be’Cona yelled”watch were you swing your hair Le’Sinta you hit us with water right in the face.Le’Sindo grabbed a towel and her clothes and started to leave.Le’Sinta stopped her”, Where you going sis.” She answered in a tired voice”The Karavan are going to train us in our powers and I’m tried night bro,goodnight.”They all were in bed shortly after Le’Sindo left. The next day they eat breakfast and went out to train. Le’Sinta learned two spell forms called Bomb and Spray. When he was done the training field looked a fire burn it to the dirt. Le’Sindo learned how to steal enemy health and resurrect newly fallen allies. La’Beka learned how to spin in high speeds with any weapon. Be’Cona learned how to shot two enemies with one shoot. Ga’Lorda learned how to keep the source safe while foraging. Sa’Binga learned to add the Tryker waving power to his weapons. Five days past since the Tryker meet one of the Karvan jungle camps.


They bowed and left for the Zoria main city. Snow covered the land. Being a short way from the city, they decided to take a break. Sinking into the snow with every step, huge grins fall across their faces.Le’Sinta was the first one to fire a snowball it hit Ga’Lorda right in the chest. Ga’Lorda shot back at Le’Sinta but Le’Sinta used his power over nature he made a wall of snow.In the end it hit La’Beka in the arm. La’Beka shot one at Le’Sindo who dogged it and hit Be’Cona.The snow ball fight continue till every one was on their backs laughing. They continued on there journey, they knew they reached Mino-Cho when they walk past a line of guards. But they stopped in shock when they saw Zoria leader and people. Dark skins, very tall, and a mask, are these the Zoria.


Thats the end of that chapter the next i hope will be really mystical and hopefuly intortuce the Kami.

I just read the 1st story and was going to read this but it will be hard work without more paragraph breaks It's a shame as I enjoy all these player-written tales but on monitor extra care has to be taken to make them readable.

How about you edit it or maybe I'll print it out

boinged wrote:I just read the 1st story and was going to read this but it will be hard work without more paragraph breaks It's a shame as I enjoy all these player-written tales but on monitor extra care has to be taken to make them readable.

How about you edit it or maybe I'll print it out

Ok ill fix it.Sorry if its hard to read.

I have read both stories and love them, keep up the good work in writing stories..

legokid wrote:Ok ill fix it.Sorry if its hard to read.

I've done a quick edit of the story to make it a bit more readable while trying not to detract from your work. I can post it up, if you like, but I won't without your permission.

glipe wrote:I've done a quick edit of the story to make it a bit more readable while trying not to detract from your work. I can post it up, if you like, but I won't without your permission.

Go for it im up for ideas.I looked over the storys and saw some problems.If sorry im grammer and such is bad but im still progaming Ryzom words like Tryker,Karavan,and Kami into my writting system.

legokid wrote:Go for it im up for ideas.I looked over the storys and saw some problems.If sorry im grammer and such is bad but im still progaming Ryzom words like Tryker,Karavan,and Kami into my writting system.

Hey, it's not a bad thing man! I can't speak any language besides English but I've always enjoyed speaking to foreigners so I don't mind reading through stuff that has a few grammar issues. I know that other people do have problems with that though, and I'm a sucker for correcting problems so I've just knocked together a more readable version with most of the grammar corrected. It's by no means perfect but, well, see what you think....

The Tryker slept well that night, knowing the great goddess of Atys, Jena, watched over them. They awoke wearily and stumbled around still in a sleepy daze. While Le’Sinta packed up the water and food barrels onto a mount Le’Sindo came over to him, put her head on his shoulder and started to cry. Le’Sinta turned around in a rush holding his sister. “What’s wrong, sis?” he said in a worried voice. She choked out, ” You…..y..you…called on Jena! She…sh…she…she told me that you…want….he…her to protect us.” “Yeah? So what’s the problem?” She started to calm down. “I didn’t know you cared so much about us?” she said quietly. Before he could answer La’Beka came over and interrupted “Of course he cares about us! We all care about each other.” “Ok sis,” Le’Sinta said, giving his sister a reassuring squeeze, “calm down. We’re so close to a new land and we have to be ready to fight.”

A few minutes later they were off. Ga’Lorda was humming a song he’d made up. ”Oh great waters of the diamonds sands and of the calming breeze…. hmmmhmmm.” He stopped singing suddenly when he saw what was greeting them. The strangest Kiten that they had ever laid eyes on! Weapons at the ready, they party braced themselves as a huge white flying Kiten hurtled straight towards them. Ten Kiten versus six Tryker; the odds weren’t good. The fight started when the flying white Kiten slammed into the ground with great force. The slam caused the earth to crack all around. Though suffering from a major injury, La’Beka was able to slide under two of the Kiten and cut deadly wounds in their bellies. As he got up, he saw that his cuts had killed the Kiten but doing so had drained all his energy. La’Beka rocked back, then fainted, hitting the dirt hard. When the others saw and heard what happened they all screamed “La’Beka!” At the sight, Le’Sinta was filled with so much anger and sorrow that he lost control of this body and cast a spell he never used before. In this mind he could hear someone telling him what to do. The voice was calm and loving. It told him to raise his arms and put his love and care for his family and friends into a ball. To everyone’s surprise, Le’Sinta cast a spell that only Archmages and Elementalists knew how to cast! When the dust settled Be’Cona saw that most of the Kiten were now dead. At this he ran to Le’Sinta, who was fainting. As Le’Sinta fell he thought to himself, “How did I do that! I’m not an Archmage or an Elementalist, so how? ……….Jena, it was you…..thank you.” As he hit the ground, Ga’Lorda was just finishing off the last Kiten when the creature slashed his back just before it died. When the dust cleared his armour was chipped and cracked. The ground was stained with blood and strewn with pieces of cloth.

Le’Sindo had a voice in her head tell her what to do as well. The voice was just like her brothers, saying “Put your caring for your friends and family into your healing.” She did as she was told and the spell healed all of Sa’Binga’s wounds. Then she did the same for Be’Cona and Ga’Lorda. She turned and ran to her brother and shook him violently but he wouldn’t open his eye. Neither would La’Beka. She screamed “WAKE UP BROTHER! PLEASE WAKE UP!” She started to cry as she loaded his body and La’Beka’s onto a packer. As they continued north she removed her brother one eyed goggles and untied his cap so she could run a hand through his short purple hair. She gave a slight smile, for she knew Jena had helped him reach that new spell. When they stopped for the night she laid him down and covered him up. She kissed him on the check and said “Good night brother, and thank you Jena.” As she lay down the others changed the bandages on La’Beka’s wound. They all said “Thank you for help protecting us, goodnight.”

Late that night Le’Sinta had a dream about a woman; a strange woman. The woman was dressed in a breath-taking, pearly white body suit with ocean blue trim. Le’Sinta felt that he knew this woman from somewhere. He asked in a shaky voice, “Are you…you Jena?” The woman walked towards him and took off his cap and goggles. She smiled a warm smile as she ran a hand through his purple hair. “You’re just like your sister; same smooth purple hair. I thought you would know who I am by now. I’m Jena.” she said calmly. Stumbling for words Le’Sinta” stammered “It was you! You’re the voice my sister and I heard. You told us how to cast a spell that only priests, Archmages and elementlists know.” Jena stopped him before he could say another word. “You ask many questions, young one, but time is short. I’m giving all of you powers that only masters can control. But you guys are different; all of you have learned the secret of power.” After a moment of thinking it hit him. He calmly said “You mean the secret to the power is love, care and hope? That’s want we believe, no, what all Tryker believe in.” Jena nodded. “I’ve told all of your companions about what I’m doing. When the time comes I will teach all of you a new power. Now I must a say farewell. My followers are at the valley entrance, they will show you to the Zoria City and show you new styles for your skills. Goodbye young Tryker.” she said with a calm voice. The next thing he knew he was back asleep.

That morning they all started singing Ga’Lorda song, “Oh great waters of the diamonds sands and of the calming breeze..hmmmhmmm.” They stopped when they saw a Karavan officer in front of them. He bowed to them and waved them over. He said “You can put your packer over there.”, pointing to a closed in field. They led them to the field to rest and then joined the officer by the camp fire. “Jena told us to expect a small group of Tryker. You coming looking for knowledge and the Zoria......” He was cut off by a cry from La’Beka; the back of his shirt was turning red! The Trykers ran to their bags while Le’Sindo used the healing Jena had taught her. It stopped the bleeding but the wound needed to be covered. The Karavan heard the cry and came running with medicine.

Ga’Lorda and Sa’Binga put a fresh bandage over the wound while the Karavan gave La’Beka medicine to help stop the pain. When the wound was covered and the medicine started to kick in, Le’Sinta and Be’Cona carried him to the Karavan’s med bay. When La’Beka was in a deep sleep they returned to the fire. “Your friend will be fine. Now, down to business. Jena has informed us that all of you now know the secret of your skill. She wants us to teach you a new power.” he said calmly. “Let me tell what powers you have learned so far. La’Beka can turn any blade into the sharpest blade ever forged. Be’Cona, you can shoot any target within a hundred meter range. Le’Sinta, you have learned a very powerful spell; you can make a fire ball. Your sister, Le’Sindo, can heal great wounds with ease. Ga’Lorda, you can tell what materials are around you. Sa’Binga you can give any weapon or armour a magical boost.”

”We suggest you stay here till my new powers are mastered. Now then, you must be tired. I’ll show you to your rooms.” The rooms were nice and cozy; a hot spring was in a enclosed corner where the Trykers washed their wounds and hair, which was not the cleanest in the world. While the other relaxed, Le’Sinta submerged in that hot water. When he remerged all this hair was in his face. He flipped his hair back which shot water into the girls faces. Be’Cona yelled “Watch where you swing your hair Le’Sinta! You hit us with water right in the face.” Le’Sindo grabbed a towel and her clothes and started to leave. Le’Sinta stopped her, “Where you going sis?” She answered in a tired voice, “The Karavan are going to train us in our powers and I’m tried. ‘Night bro, goodnight all.” They were all in bed shortly after Le’Sindo left.

The next day they ate breakfast and went out to train. Le’Sinta learned two spell forms called Bomb and Spray. When he was done the training field looked like a fire had burn it to the dirt. Le’Sindo learned how to steal enemy health and resurrect newly fallen allies. La’Beka learned how to spin in high speeds with any weapon. Be’Cona learned how to shot two enemies with one shot. Ga’Lorda learned how to keep the source safe while foraging. Sa’Binga learned to add the Tryker waving power to his weapons. Five days passed from when the Tryker had first met one of the Karavan jungle camps.

They bowed and left for the Zoria main city. Snow covered the land. Being a short way from the city, they decided to take a break. Sinking into the snow with every step, huge grins fell across their faces. Le’Sinta was the first one to fire a snowball; it hit Ga’Lorda right in the chest. Ga’Lorda shot back at Le’Sinta but Le’Sinta used his power over nature to make a wall of snow. In the end it hit La’Beka in the arm. La’Beka shot one at Le’Sindo who dodged it and hit Be’Cona. The snow ball fight continued till every one was on their backs laughing. They continued on there journey and knew they had reached Min-Cho when they walked past a line of guards. But they stopped in shock when they saw Zoria leader and people. Dark skinned, very tall and wearing masks; are these the Zoria?

That really good.I bow to you and your writting.As i promised the next chapter will be more better.Im honored that people are giving me ideas to make the story better.









P.S.I'll give all of you a tiny preview, La'Sita and his sister are more intune with the great goddess because of a mark.Next chapter The Mark of the Goddess is coming very soon.

I finally got round to reading this, what a gripping story and interesting to read things from a Karavan point of view Looking forward to the next part.