Mat Shop (For the love of god, stop storing)
Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:03 pm
Jyudas: Good Morning.
Mat Merchant: Good morning, sir. Welcome to the Materials Emporium.
Jyudas: Ah, thank you my good man.
Mat Merchant: What can I do for you, sir?
Jyudas: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the Public Baths just now, with a good Tryker friend of mine, and I suddenly came over all crafty.
Mat Merchant: Crafty, sir?
Jyudas: I desire to fashion one thing into another.
Mat Merchant: Eh?
Jyudas: I wanted to make some armour.
Mat Merchant: Ah, I see.
Jyudas: Anyway, I thought to myself, 'a few materials will do the trick'. So I curtailed my bathing activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some animal or vegetable construction items.
Mat Merchant: Come again?
Jyudas: I want to buy some Materials.
Mat Merchant: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the Mektoubs.
Jyudas: Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of the glorious Mektoub.
Mat Merchant: Sorry?
Jyudas: I dont mind animals.
Mat Merchant: So theyre fine there?
Jyudas: Most certainly, I seem to be able to walk through them anyway. Now then, some materials please, my good man.
Mat Merchant: Certainly, sir. What would you like?
Jyudas: Well, eh, how about a little supreme resin?
Mat Merchant: I'm afraid nobody puts supreme resin in the shop, sir.
Jyudas: Oh never mind, how are you on supreme wood?
Mat Merchant: I'm afraid we never have that, nobody puts it into the shop, sir.
Jyudas: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four pieces of supreme sap, if you please.
Mat Merchant: Ah. It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. I was expecting it this morning.
Jyudas: It's not my lucky day, is it? Er, supreme oil?
Mat Merchant: Sorry, sir.
Jyudas: Supreme shell?
Mat Merchant: Normally, sir, yes. Today the Mektoub got killed by gingo.
Jyudas: Ah. Supreme teeth?
Mat Merchant: Sorry.
Jyudas: Supreme fangs? Supreme goo?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Any supreme ligaments, per chance?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent wood?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent resin?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent oil?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent sap?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent fangs?
Mat Merchant: ..... No.
Jyudas: Excellent goo?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice blue wood?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Anything supreme at all?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent, perhaps?
Mat Merchant: Ah! We have excellent toes, yes sir.
Jyudas: You do! Well, Kostika likes crafting jewels.
Mat Merchant: Yes, sir. It's, ah... it's a bit runny.
Jyudas: No matter, she likes it runny.
Mat Merchant: Well, it's very runny, actually, sir.
Jyudas: No matter. Fetch hither the excellent toes!
Mat Merchant: I think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
Jyudas: I don't care how kinching runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
Mat Merchant: Oh .....
Jyudas: What now?
Mat Merchant: The yubo's eaten them.
Jyudas: Has he?
Mat Merchant: She, sir.
(pause)
Jyudas: Any choice resin?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice wood?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice oil?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice sap?
Mat Merchant: No, sir.
Jyudas: You do have some materials, do you?
Mat Merchant: Of course, sir. It's a materials merchant, sir. We've got...
Jyudas: No, no, don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
Mat Merchant: Fair enough.
Jyudas: Choice shell?
Mat Merchant: Yes sir!.
Jyudas: Very well, Ill take 20.
Mat Merchant: Theyre Jungle materials sir.
Jyudas: And yet, I am, quite clearly, a Fyros.
Mat Merchant: Yes sir.
(pause)
Jyudas: Choice goo?
Mat Merchant: What quality level sir?
Jyudas: 160.
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice fangs?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice ligaments?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice prime root gibani rectums?
Mat Merchant: Not today, sir, no.
(pause)
Jyudas: Ah, how about choice teeth?
Mat Merchant: Well, we don't get much call for those around here, sir.
Jyudas: Not much ca- It's the single most used material in the world is lining!
Mat Merchant: Not round here, sir.
Jyudas: And what is the most popular material round here?
Mat Merchant: Amber, sir.
Jyudas: Is it.
Mat Merchant: Oh yes, sir. It's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
Jyudas: Is it.
Mat Merchant: It's our number-one best seller, sir.
Jyudas: I see. Ah, amber, eh?
Mat Merchant: Right, sir.
Jyudas: All right. Okay. Have you got any choice amber, he asked expecting the answer no?
Mat Merchant: I'll have a look, sir ..... nnnnnnooooooooo.
Jyudas: It's not much of a materials shop, is it?
Mat Merchant: Finest in the district, sir.
Jyudas: Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Mat Merchant: Well, it's so clean, sir.
Jyudas: It's certainly uncontaminated by materials.
Mat Merchant: You haven't asked me about claws, sir.
Jyudas: Is it worth it?
Mat Merchant: Could be.
Jyudas: Have you- MOVE THAT BLOODY MEKTOUB!
Mat Merchant: (To Mektoub) Told you so.
Jyudas: Have you got any choice claws?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: That figures. Predictable really, I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
Mat Merchant: Yes, sir?
Jyudas: Have you in fact got any materials here at all?
Mat Merchant: Yes, sir.
Jyudas: Really?
(pause)
Mat Merchant: Yes, sir.
Jyudas: You do?
Mat Merchant: (Opens doors to the stable, revealing that it is stacked to the very rafters with materials.)
Jyudas: I can see some supreme and choice materials right there!!!
Mat Merchant: I didnt think youd want them sir.
Jyudas: Why not?
Mat Merchant: Well, they are over 50,000 dappers each sir!
Jyudas: 50,000 dappers, each?
Mat Merchant: Some are 99,999,999 dappers each sir.
Jyudas: Youre having a giraffe arent you?
Mat Merchant: No sir, neither giraffes nor rhyming slang are native to Atys.
Jyuas: Why in the name of Ma-Duk are you selling them so dear?
Mat Merchant: Ah well, people sell them here at that price you see.
Jyudas: Why?
Mat Merchant: Ive no idea sir, they just have to buy them back again.
Jyudas: At the price they set I hope?
Mat Merchant: No sir, just what we pay them in advance.
Jyudas: I see, so you are, in fact, perpetuating this annoying situation?
Mat Merchant: Indeed sir.
Jyudas: Well, Im afraid Im going to have to decapitate you.
Mat Merchant: Right-O, sir.
Jyudas: (Cuts his head off) What a senseless waste of homin life.
Mat Merchant: Good morning, sir. Welcome to the Materials Emporium.
Jyudas: Ah, thank you my good man.
Mat Merchant: What can I do for you, sir?
Jyudas: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the Public Baths just now, with a good Tryker friend of mine, and I suddenly came over all crafty.
Mat Merchant: Crafty, sir?
Jyudas: I desire to fashion one thing into another.
Mat Merchant: Eh?
Jyudas: I wanted to make some armour.
Mat Merchant: Ah, I see.
Jyudas: Anyway, I thought to myself, 'a few materials will do the trick'. So I curtailed my bathing activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some animal or vegetable construction items.
Mat Merchant: Come again?
Jyudas: I want to buy some Materials.
Mat Merchant: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the Mektoubs.
Jyudas: Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of the glorious Mektoub.
Mat Merchant: Sorry?
Jyudas: I dont mind animals.
Mat Merchant: So theyre fine there?
Jyudas: Most certainly, I seem to be able to walk through them anyway. Now then, some materials please, my good man.
Mat Merchant: Certainly, sir. What would you like?
Jyudas: Well, eh, how about a little supreme resin?
Mat Merchant: I'm afraid nobody puts supreme resin in the shop, sir.
Jyudas: Oh never mind, how are you on supreme wood?
Mat Merchant: I'm afraid we never have that, nobody puts it into the shop, sir.
Jyudas: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four pieces of supreme sap, if you please.
Mat Merchant: Ah. It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. I was expecting it this morning.
Jyudas: It's not my lucky day, is it? Er, supreme oil?
Mat Merchant: Sorry, sir.
Jyudas: Supreme shell?
Mat Merchant: Normally, sir, yes. Today the Mektoub got killed by gingo.
Jyudas: Ah. Supreme teeth?
Mat Merchant: Sorry.
Jyudas: Supreme fangs? Supreme goo?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Any supreme ligaments, per chance?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent wood?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent resin?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent oil?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent sap?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent fangs?
Mat Merchant: ..... No.
Jyudas: Excellent goo?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice blue wood?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Anything supreme at all?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Excellent, perhaps?
Mat Merchant: Ah! We have excellent toes, yes sir.
Jyudas: You do! Well, Kostika likes crafting jewels.
Mat Merchant: Yes, sir. It's, ah... it's a bit runny.
Jyudas: No matter, she likes it runny.
Mat Merchant: Well, it's very runny, actually, sir.
Jyudas: No matter. Fetch hither the excellent toes!
Mat Merchant: I think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
Jyudas: I don't care how kinching runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
Mat Merchant: Oh .....
Jyudas: What now?
Mat Merchant: The yubo's eaten them.
Jyudas: Has he?
Mat Merchant: She, sir.
(pause)
Jyudas: Any choice resin?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice wood?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice oil?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice sap?
Mat Merchant: No, sir.
Jyudas: You do have some materials, do you?
Mat Merchant: Of course, sir. It's a materials merchant, sir. We've got...
Jyudas: No, no, don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
Mat Merchant: Fair enough.
Jyudas: Choice shell?
Mat Merchant: Yes sir!.
Jyudas: Very well, Ill take 20.
Mat Merchant: Theyre Jungle materials sir.
Jyudas: And yet, I am, quite clearly, a Fyros.
Mat Merchant: Yes sir.
(pause)
Jyudas: Choice goo?
Mat Merchant: What quality level sir?
Jyudas: 160.
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice fangs?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice ligaments?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: Choice prime root gibani rectums?
Mat Merchant: Not today, sir, no.
(pause)
Jyudas: Ah, how about choice teeth?
Mat Merchant: Well, we don't get much call for those around here, sir.
Jyudas: Not much ca- It's the single most used material in the world is lining!
Mat Merchant: Not round here, sir.
Jyudas: And what is the most popular material round here?
Mat Merchant: Amber, sir.
Jyudas: Is it.
Mat Merchant: Oh yes, sir. It's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
Jyudas: Is it.
Mat Merchant: It's our number-one best seller, sir.
Jyudas: I see. Ah, amber, eh?
Mat Merchant: Right, sir.
Jyudas: All right. Okay. Have you got any choice amber, he asked expecting the answer no?
Mat Merchant: I'll have a look, sir ..... nnnnnnooooooooo.
Jyudas: It's not much of a materials shop, is it?
Mat Merchant: Finest in the district, sir.
Jyudas: Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Mat Merchant: Well, it's so clean, sir.
Jyudas: It's certainly uncontaminated by materials.
Mat Merchant: You haven't asked me about claws, sir.
Jyudas: Is it worth it?
Mat Merchant: Could be.
Jyudas: Have you- MOVE THAT BLOODY MEKTOUB!
Mat Merchant: (To Mektoub) Told you so.
Jyudas: Have you got any choice claws?
Mat Merchant: No.
Jyudas: That figures. Predictable really, I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
Mat Merchant: Yes, sir?
Jyudas: Have you in fact got any materials here at all?
Mat Merchant: Yes, sir.
Jyudas: Really?
(pause)
Mat Merchant: Yes, sir.
Jyudas: You do?
Mat Merchant: (Opens doors to the stable, revealing that it is stacked to the very rafters with materials.)
Jyudas: I can see some supreme and choice materials right there!!!
Mat Merchant: I didnt think youd want them sir.
Jyudas: Why not?
Mat Merchant: Well, they are over 50,000 dappers each sir!
Jyudas: 50,000 dappers, each?
Mat Merchant: Some are 99,999,999 dappers each sir.
Jyudas: Youre having a giraffe arent you?
Mat Merchant: No sir, neither giraffes nor rhyming slang are native to Atys.
Jyuas: Why in the name of Ma-Duk are you selling them so dear?
Mat Merchant: Ah well, people sell them here at that price you see.
Jyudas: Why?
Mat Merchant: Ive no idea sir, they just have to buy them back again.
Jyudas: At the price they set I hope?
Mat Merchant: No sir, just what we pay them in advance.
Jyudas: I see, so you are, in fact, perpetuating this annoying situation?
Mat Merchant: Indeed sir.
Jyudas: Well, Im afraid Im going to have to decapitate you.
Mat Merchant: Right-O, sir.
Jyudas: (Cuts his head off) What a senseless waste of homin life.