Ryzom helps blow up my computer!!

[dakhound]

another great one

woman phones IT support line
halfway through helping woman the IT support person asks the woman to close all windows
woman gets up and closes the bedroom windows

[hans1976]

True:
Woman comes rushing in, into the helpdesk room.
"My computer is acting all weird! Everything I push gets up new windows! I need help now!"
Aina (who I was working with at the time), followed her and came back laughing. Turned out she had a very cluttered desk and somehow a heavy binder lay resting on the Control-key of the keyboard.


Another true calls I received:
- The internet is broken.
- My computer doesnt work.
- My computer is acting funny ever since we dropped that full cup of hot cocoa in the keyboard.'
- I cannot print. (Is your printer turned on?) Hey, I am not stupid. (Can you please check?) *some silence while user is looking at printer* Hey, thanks, it wasnt on.

I moght think of bette rones

[matteo81]

A woman phones up the computer help desk operator on their last day:-

Woman: "Could you possibly help me with my computer problem?"

Operator: "Yes, what is the problem"

Woman: "Well, when I push the on button nothing happens"

Operator: "Have you checked all the leads are attached?

Woman: "Yes"

Operator: "Are there any lights showing on the keyboard or monitor"

Woman: "No"

Operator: "Is it plugged in?"

Woman: "No"

Operator: "Ok, put the PC back in its box and bring it back to us"

Woman: "Why?"

Operator: "Because you too f***ing thick to own one"

[matteo81]

I had fried my motherboard for those of you who are interested!!

Got my PC back on Saturday, after two weeks, enjoying the almost lag free gaming very much, makes so much difference!
Enjoyed a trip to Tryker yesterday, many thanks to Itsmagic and others, espec other toadies!

My friend has a rpoblem and was wondering if anyone be so kind to help:-

"In 'setup' mode it keeps saying - Windows cannot upgrade %1 from %2
it repeats this over and over again.
I had been turning it off over the last couple of days, thinking it was too ill to start but today I went off to my rowing session and forgot to turn it off. When I got back it had repeated that %1 from %2 thingy for a about 2 pages but then said I could press 'enter', which took me to the 'password' startup page.
I rang PC world this morning because I have an insurance on the computer but they told me I need to run the Recovery CD and put the settings back to factory settings and lose everything.
I have deleted a lot of the games that my kids put on and then I tried it again, turned it off then back on. It repeated the %1 from %2 thingy only 4 times and then went to the password page, which is an improvement.
Anyone any ideas of what I could do with it?
It is a Compaq Presario, Pentium III processor, Windows Millenium.
I have a feeling it hasn't been well since I went on to AOL broadband - it has got a lot slower, especially when it is switched off, it takes age""

Thanks & Regards

Sainta

[hans1976]

Ah, impending doom is foreseen!
- Win Millenium?
- Compaq?
- A PC insurance that let's you solve the problem yourself?
- AOL????

Okee, this is what you must do:

Make some room in the garden shed, put everything outside, we wouldnt want it to get dirty.
Now make sure you can make the shed totally free of daylight
Paint the inside of the shed black
Order dribbly candles, but any candles will do.
Paint pentagrams on every wall and a very large on the floor.
Put the computer in the middle of the floor pentagram. This might take some effort, likely you will get nausiated or feel like you are pulled away from the shed. Also can the computer start feeling very hot or become very heavy without any appearant reason.
Now close the shed and take out the bible. Read the first 9 verses from Genesis backwards or in spanish, whatever you are best at.
If it doesnt ignite all by itself, set fire to the shed and burn it to the ground. Apply as much gasoline as you feel comfortable with.
Light the candles at dinner later that night for that special romantic atmosphere.

Now go to you local computerstore and never again forget that buying a pre-setup compaq and allowing your kids to install games on it will cause you to build a new shed.

...
...

Another solution is to pick up the PC, take it to PC world and shout at the clerk to replace the harddrive at lightspeed within insurance or you will call his mother!

[matteo81]

pmsl!!
I shall pass this on lol!

[trenker]

I was doing some training once. This lady wanted to click on something to the right of her screen, but the mouse was already on the right of her mouse pad which was on the right edge of the desk. She was completely stumped, poor thing.

[hans1976]

pmsl!!

pmsl

pondring what this anagram means.

pms, the long version? Please let me know

Grtz

[matteo81]

pmsl = pi**ing myself laughing

[dazman76]

I was doing some training once. This lady wanted to click on something to the right of her screen, but the mouse was already on the right of her mouse pad which was on the right edge of the desk. She was completely stumped, poor thing.

*chuckle* My parents are a lot like this I'm afraid, with technology in general. My Dad has been an engineer for almost 30 years now, his mental arithmetic has always been miles better than mine, and he's 100% practical when it comes to solving problems with design.

But can he program a VCR with VidePlus? Nope Not a complicated process, but it's the menu that gets him every time. Move up, move down? Cancel, go back, confirm? Eh? Bless him...