Thanks all.
Re: i found out.. well, that was just to stop my babbling.. what i found out is something i've known for years but refused to accept. And i wont go into it here either.
I think we all search for perfection in many ways, in gaming, this seems to be more serious for some than for others, but it always comes back to real life, what i see around me in in real life, in how i have lived and how i have tried to deal with others is how i deal with them ingame, this is how we all deal with each other ingame.
To think that the many people i meet in games that have become good friends, some for over 15 years, people i've never even met in real life, it is... something to think about.
I wish i knew half of those in real life, half as much as i know others ingame.
My situation is not very good atm, but theres not much i can do about it, without work. The most serious problems are going to be dealt with shortly, not of my own doing, i was bullied somewhat by my mother and younger sister, my stubborness overcome.
But i do not, will not be ingame for sometime. Not until i know i have a "more perfect" future. In fact, after the free month bt has given me for my years of dedicated service in holding an internet account with them, i will not even have that.
Still, if i cant get these folks in edinburgh to give me the temp contracts for qa testing work they offer... maybe things will pick up soon. God knows tho, i hate testing games...
although, getting paid for it, is much better then doing it for free... worse still doing it and paying to do it... hehe.
I wish you all the best, i will check back and continue to follow the course of Saga of Ryzom and Asherons Call 2 and a few others. Tho probably from internet not in my home, theres net pcs in the local libary and other places now, always some kind of access somewhere.
Never know, someone might email me something..
Anyways, goodnight and good luck and cya'll and no, noone can have my stuff.
And boss i'd like to stop by and chat... i wish i had gotten to meet you in london. Perhaps some other time.
~ Martin
Ps Still stopped. "I do not smoke, i do not sm..." i repeat this every 30 seconds!! Or it feels like i do.